


Absolutely ridiculous one shots

by Lola_McGee



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: (It being Lucy/Kara), And a chatfic chapter, BTW this Shep's first name is Lena, Because my Shep's first name is Lena, Cat Grant is the world's best mom, Cat Grant sees patterns, Chapter 12 is just a massive Mass Effect Crossover, Chapter 13 is crack, Chapter 14 is Lucy/Lena, Director Luthor, Don't read Chapter 5, Drunk Kara Danvers, Especially A Gaylien teen and his gaylien sorta mother, Eve is my author surrogate apparently, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, FACT, Future installments will almost certainly involve magic, GAYLIENS, He can never deal, I don't like Mon-El, I love her, I won't tag them in ships or characters unless I write more of that crossover, I'm deep in the rabbit hole now, IT DOESN'T HAVE A SHIP NAME YET, If you can't tell, If you don't want to read his POV, J'onn can't deal, Kara and Lena are the softest girlfriends, Kara's slept with Wonder Woman, Lena Luthor is a dork in any universe, Lena Luthor is happy for once, Lots of it, Lucy Lane (DCU) Ships It, Magician AU!, Magician!Lena, Mon-El is actually the worst, More tags to be added with future fics, My crack ships, No magic tricks in part 3 of the magic show AU surprise!, Pure lead-laced salt thrown his way in chapter 5, She likes to steal her clothes, Shenanigans, Swearing, THE SECRETARY SHIP, That was a real tag that I couldn't help but use, They love each other and would do anything for each other, UPDATE: IT'S SUPERSECRETARY, Where the hell is Lucy Lane, Which I wouldn't blame you, Which is the best coincidence in my life, Which runs along SuperSecretary, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS, because they're both the loves of my life, everyone is super gay, is a thing, no powers, protective!lucy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-11-03 07:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10962708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lola_McGee/pseuds/Lola_McGee
Summary: Just a bunch of ridiculous, probably gay, one shots.





	1. The Most... Dangerous Game?

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is just a whole bunch of one shots for Supergirl. Each of them is almost certainly ridiculous, and almost certainly includes wlw content. What can I say? I'm such a sapphic like that.
> 
> I'll probably be putting these up in between things I write for the main AU I apparently have ended up working in (such as Kara and the Drunks).
> 
> This first one was based on a prompt I left Rhino on their "Prompt the Multishipper" Fic. While Rhino is amazing and wonderful and almost certainly do a better job on this fic than I could, I felt the urge to write it myself and now here we are!
> 
> The original prompt (heavily edited to remove faff):  
> So Lucy Lane hasn't actually been away on DEO business, but actually has just been engaging in a long game of "see how long I can hide from Kara before she finds out" except now it's gone way out of hand, and everyone but Kara knows that Lucy Lane is still around, and now no one wants to be the one to end the joke so everyone is running around shoving Lucy in closets to hide her from Kara.

Lucy Lane hates being in cramped spaces. Absolutely despises it. But sometimes, sometimes, necessity breeds desperation, so here she is. Closed in a small, lead-lined safe room, hiding from a beautiful woman. Hiding from Kara.

Okay, so maybe this game that started off as a little fun has gotten seriously, seriously, way out of hand. But after everything with Myriad, Lucy Lane, making an executive decision as Co-Director of the DEO, decided that there needed to be some fun. So she had grabbed all of the people closest to her not named Kara and came up with a relatively simple game. Lucy, Winn, James and Vasquez would see who goes the longest hiding from Kara. Alex and J’onn would keep score and track them (J’onn because he was a mind-reader, Alex because everyone knew that if Kara went for more than a day without seeing her beloved sister, she’d probably freak out.) Kara was absolutely not to know about the game, until she had found the very last one.

Winn lasted less than a day, when a pouty text from Kara got him to go out drinking with her. James, not much longer when he was summoned to Cat Grant’s office. Vasquez lasted several months, with the pre-made excuse of being on some kind of “undercover mission”. However, she was caught off guard one morning, Supergirl discovering her having a morning donut and coffee at the DEO, instantly launching into a thousand questions about Vasquez’s mission.

That leaves Lucy. Now, if it was anyone else left standing, they might be weak and decide to out themselves, knowing that they’ve already won. But Lucy Lane is nothing if not absolutely committed. So, no. 7 months after the game began and she’s still hiding from Kara at every turn. With everyone… still helping her.

(She has suddenly been shoved into small spaces in the middle of DEO briefings more times than she can count. Once she even curled herself up in a partially made Guardian suit, keeping her breathing to a minimum; she did have very stern words for James afterwards.)

So yeah, the game is out of control. But no one knows how to stop it, least of all Lucy herself.

The absolutely oddest part of this game, however, is the rather unlikely friendship she has picked up with one Lena Luthor.

(Honestly, everything about Lena Luthor is unlikely. Throw any obstacle in that woman’s way and she is sure to crush it under her heel. Well, any obstacle besides literally any woman over 50 showing her the slightest bit of affection. The she melts like an absolute puppy. But, Lucy supposes, everyone has her own weakness.)  
__________________________________________________________________________

_Lucy Lane first met Lena Luthor in her capacity as Director of the DEO. Ever since she signed the NDA’s regarding Kara, Lucy’s wanted her to work for the DEO, even in some kind of advisorial or contractual role. The woman nearly solved world hunger for God’s sake. Probably was still trying to fail-safe the blueprints from anyone with ill intention. If there was anyone who she wanted working on her side and not the other… Well, she couldn’t think of many people who’d be higher on the list than Lena Luthor._

_Their meeting, however, didn’t start off on the best foot._

_Lena had simply regarded Lucy coolly, arching an eyebrow, indicating for her to sit without even offering a handshake. “Considering you’re not Lois, I presume I’m in the presence of Major Lane?”_

_“Director Lane, ma’am.”_

_“Ah right. You’re one of the ones in charge of that little ‘shadowy’ organization of yours.”_

_“I’d prefer the term secret.”_

_“I see how you might.” The air between the two felt unsettled._

_“I just wanted to--” The intercom buzzed, and Lena pressed a button._

_“Yes, Jess?”_

_“Ms. Luthor, I wanted to inform you that Kara Danvers just entered the building.”_

_“Thank you. Send her on in. Immediately. Don’t tell her I’m in a meeting.” She lifted her finger from the button, cutting off any questions ._

_And Lucy had blanched. “Oh_ shit! _”_

_Lena replied with a victorious smirk. “Yeah, I don’t think you’ll want Kara to see that you came here to threaten me. Officially this time.”_

_“No! Not that! I… I didn’t come here for that. I was going to offer you work. But first. Kara can absolutely not learn that I’m here.”_

_The cool exterior broke a little. “What?”_

_“Trust me. I’ll explain after. Where’s your lead-lined panic room?”_

_The woman looked to be in pure shock. “What?”_

_“Where. Is. Your. Lead. Lined. Panic. Room?”_

_After a moment a small door opened in the side panelling. And Lucy just gave a small grateful panicked smile and jumped right in, closing the door behind her. A screen on the wall let her watch what was going on in the room, switching between cameras every few moments; a presumably useful feature if you actually needed it. And so she watched Kara run in and give Lena a big hug. Watched them sit down on the couch, way too close to each other, and while it was difficult to exactly tell, she thought she could spot small smiles passing both of their faces. They’d definitely make a cute couple._  
__________________________________________________________________________

That lunch had lasted nearly an hour, with convincing Lena to keep the game going lasting another half hour. And with that as an icebreaker, the young Lane and Luthor swiftly became fast friends; Lucy often being the one to test any regular equipment Lena designs for the DEO. It helps, Lucy supposes, that their respective massive crush on Kara broke the ice on their other similarities.

(Yes, Lucy knows. It had taken less than ten minutes to peg the Luthor as having some kind of crush on Kara; she was absolutely unsubtle about it. It did take two weeks to make her admit it though; and only when Lucy admitted her own crush on Kara. Lucy wonders if she could get her to train DEO recruits to withstand interrogation. The woman has an impressive way of dancing around the issue and giving half-truths that sound like full-ones.)

(Of course, Lucy has known for a long time how she feels about Kara. Lucy isn’t blind to her own reaction. But, it’s a crush that will never go anywhere, and may actually last until the day she dies with their little hide and seek game. Lucy hates herself, not for the first time, for being so committed. Lena just finds this fact hilarious.)

So that’s where she found herself this time; stuck (once again) in Lena’s panic room, Kara sitting outside having a peaceful lunch. Lena had installed audio to the camera, upon request, which could only be accessed by special headphones. Of course, only Lena controlled whether or not the audio is actually on and functioning. Today is luckily one of those days.

(Both of them skirted around the legality of the issue. It’s not like both of them haven’t broken far more serious laws before.)

“So Kara, darling.”

Kara’s attention bounces up to Lena, big grin on her face. “Yes?”

“The other day I came along an interesting tidbit.”

“Did you now?”

“I did. I was… talk to J’onn the other day and he let it slip that he’s only a Co-Director.”

Lucy freezes, holding her breath in as much as possible. _Of fucking course Lena is going to do this._ After all, Lena loves messing with Kara nearly as much as anyone Lucy has ever seen before.

When Kara responds, it’s nowhere near as brighty as Lucy expects. “Yeah. Our… other director has been on a secret mission.”

Lena is remarkably composed, but if Lucy listens hard enough she’s certain she can hear that shit-eating grin in her voice. “Oh?”

“Yeah. Lucy. Lucy Lane.” And a quiet voice after. “I miss her. I know she’s doing something important. But we were starting to become such good friends before she left. I… I was really starting to like her.”

Lucy’s heart stops. She honestly cannot believe what she’s hearing. She knows that Kara doesn’t mean _like_ in that sense. But… she never suspected that Kara thought much of her. Sure they were friends (she’s hesitate to say that they currently are friends, given the whole “I’ve been hiding from you for seven months because I got wrapped up in a game of hiding from you”) but Kara… Kara sounds so fond.

Kara, unknowing of Lucy’s current predicament, continues. “And no one else really wants to talk about her? It’s like they’re scared of mentioning her name. And I don’t know why.”

Lena just nods, false sympathy written all over her lying cheating betrayer face.

(Okay, that’s harsh. Lucy knows about Lillian, Lionel and Medusa and every other piece of bullshit her family fostered onto her. So she’d never say that to her face. But, also, come on! She _knows_ Lucy is listening in.)

The moments of silence felt infinitely long to Lucy, before Lena picks up the conversation again. “What do you miss most about her?”

Kara laughs, a hint of sadness in her voice. “It’s going to sound weird, but I miss how tiny she is.” Lucy… slightly breaks. “She’d hate it if I said that.” Yes, yes she does. “But it’s not because she’s small, no. It’s because… she always took it so well, when we teased her about it. We knew it wasn’t really bothering her. It made her one of the gang. Add that to the way she smells so nice. Sometimes I think I catch her smell lingering in the DEO, but I know she wasn’t there. It’s sort of… I don’t know how to describe it. Earthy? Like fresh flowers plucked from the ground just moments before.”

And that’s when Lucy fully breaks. Without thinking, she throws open the door, steps out and just yells, “Kara, I swear to God! I am not that short and I smell like the fierce fucking warrior I am.”

And Kara whips around, faster than any human ought to be, mouth hanging open. “Lucy?”

While Lucy and Kara just stare at each other, Lena’s voice is in pure shit-eating grin territory. “Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splainin to do!”


	2. The Magic Show!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara runs into a mysterious dorky magician in Vegas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a no power! AU. I have planned a second part if you guys want to see it.
> 
> And shout out to the wonderful @Littlebrother (@littlekbrother on Tumblr) go read their stuff. They're great. And talked me through some of the issues.

Kara could not say, not at all, why exactly she chose to vacation in Vegas. Sure, getting there was cheap and feasible to do by car, with relatively inexpensive motels littering the outskirts of Paradise, Nevada. And sure, if she found something, Vegas was close enough to National City that if she found a story worthy of her attention, she could try to pitch it to Snapper.

But all of those were justifications for why she _might_ choose Las Vegas as a vacation destination. No, the only reason she could say for why she went to Vegas was because she felt as if she should.

_Alex gushed about her trip to Vegas with Maggie. “Really Kara, everyone should go to Vegas once in their life. There’s something relaxing about acknowledging that you’re somewhere just to indulge yourself.”_

So Kara Danvers found herself walking along an extreme hot Vegas sidewalk, in the middle of summer, eyes glazing over each street vendor she passed, absolutely bored out of her mind. Well, bored was the wrong word. More like, facing a minor existential crisis because she had no idea what she was doing there at that particular moment in time.

With these thoughts on her mind, Kara almost didn’t notice the woman who stepped in her way; stopping herself at the last moment from bowling her over. She reached out to steady herself and the woman, apologies already springing on her lips, head bending downwards in embarrassment. “Oh! I’m so sorry! I was just super lost in my thoughts, you know, like wondering why I’m here, well not here here but hereish? Vegas here and maybe a bit of life here? Not like why I was born since I had my birds and bees talk a decade ago and it was scarring to hear your foster mother tell you how babies are made in purely clinical terms especially when the liking boys instead of just girls came a little later so no thank you, but like what lead my life to this moment kind of “why am I here?” and oh gosh,--” 

The woman’s chuckle, deep and throaty, with a hint of non-judgemental amusement, broke off Kara’s ramble. It was, by far, instantly one of Kara’s favourite laughs, and she found herself wishing it wasn’t so short. “Who says gosh nowadays anyway?”

Kara finally looked up, blush very obviously apparent on her face, and finally took in the woman who she had avoided maiming (okay fine, just severely injuring) by a couple of seconds. And further apologies died on her lips.

It might have been cliché, but the first thing that Kara noticed were her eyes; a bluish-green that honestly sparkled in amusement. Next, the crows feet, crinkling the corner of her eyes. Then her nose, straight and showcasing power. Sinful red lips drew a lingering gaze. And completing the face, were her ears. Now, Kara did not think of herself as an ear and piercings kind of gal; sure it never bothered her, but also it never floated her boat. But here, the six studs dotting both of the woman’s lobe, drawing attention to the attractive curve of her ear, and Kara was left wondering what noises the woman would make if Kara were to whisper hotly into her ear, sucking and biting it gently.

Finally, taking a step back, she took in the woman’s appearance. She wore a suit, with an honest to god bowtie and a cape. One of those Dracula capes with the black exterior and red interior. And… it was a well fitted suit. Kara’s eyes wandered her body, taking in each curve, and she wondered what it’d be like to watch her walk away.

So of course, when met with all of that, Kara’s mouth could only blubber up and down a few times, unable to even squeak out anything. Even though that deserved a mental facepalm, she forgave herself when the woman just chuckled again.

“Well, I haven’t even performed my first trick yet and you seem… enchanted.” The words rolling off her tongue felt like liquid sex to Kara. She noticed an accent hiding in there as well; perhaps Irish, though it was too faint, a little too well hidden, to accurately tell.

Kara finally found a word. “T-Trick?” Sure, it was a broken stuttered word, but at least it was something. A shield from how attractive she found this woman.

The woman grinned in anticipation, hands clapping together a little too excitedly, a crinkle forming between her eyes; the confident, attractive woman had faded away to reveal someone absolutely delighted to be talking about… well whatever she was about to say. Seeing it, Kara’s heart melted just a little. “Yes, tricks. Magic. You happen to be talking to The Great and Powerful Luthor, able to do things which will blow your mind.”

“Did… Did you choose your name after watching the Wizard of Oz?” The words slipped out after Kara spoke them, and she hurriedly tried to shove them in her mouth, hand clamping over her lips.

Except “The Great and Powerful Luthor” blushed, looking downcast, and maybe, just a little bit, dejected. “N-No. Of course not.”

With that look on the woman’s face, Kara couldn’t not try to bring her smile back. “It’s okay if you did! I love that movie! It’s great! I watch it every few months and I know almost all the dialogue and I sing along and I dressed up as Dorothy for Halloween for years so if you did name yourself after watching The Wizard of Oz, I can’t blame you since my magician stage name would probably “The Wonderful Kara Danvers, Wizard of National City”, even though your name is way cooler than mine and mine just sounds a little… dorky?” Kara grimaced as her ramble tailed off.

During her ramble, the woman had composed herself again, confident smirk finding itself on her lips once again. “I think, The Wonderful Kara Danvers, Wizard of National City, that the name suits you just perfectly. Now, I was wondering…” Her eyes unsubtly travelling up and down Kara’s body, as she learned in close, to whisper. “If you’d like a little… taste of the show I’m putting on tonight.” She leaned back to watch Kara’s reaction, teeth grasping her bottom lip confidently.

Almost certainly each item of Kara’s clothes was beyond unsalvageable at this point with a mixture of sweat and… other bodily fluids, as she could only nod.

And… the excited smile, that’s a little bit dorky, reappeared on the woman’s face. “Great! What would you like to see first? Obviously I can’t give away the main showstopping tricks, and also that’d take a lot of space to do so, but I can show off one or two minor tricks?”

Kara cast around in her mind, trying to recall literally any magic tricks. “Umm… Oh! Can you make… anything appear out of thin air?” 

The woman smiled even brighter. “Why, certainly. Now, I need you to know,” her hands started flourishing like a show-woman, which Kara guessed she was, “that magic isn’t a science. There isn’t a single way to do it. _Abracadabra_ , _Hocus Pocus_ , and all that jazz is good; but magic tricks aren’t formulaic. You don’t need a specific set of words or actions to do the extraordinary. As long as you and your audience _believe_ , well… Then you can accomplish anything.” And with a final flourish, out of seemingly nowhere a single sunflower rested in her hands. 

The woman raised the flower and her hand, speaking quietly, “If I may?” Kara just nodded, absolutely speechless, letting the woman slip it behind Kara’s ear, before stepping back, a small smile on her face.

“I’m sorry, The Wonderful Kara Danvers, but I do have to go now. I hope I see you at my show.” The woman raised herself on her toes (and how did Kara not notice until this moment that she was taller than the magician?) pressed her lips softly to Kara’s cheek and whispered softly. “There’s one more trick I’ve performed. Check your bag.” Before turning around and walking away, letting Kara just stand, watching her, fingers gently touching her cheek where the woman’s lips had been pressed. The weight of the sunflower behind her ear felt comfortable.

Kara was absolutely right, watching the woman walk away was a marvel.

When she looked in her bag, she noticed a small envelope that hadn’t been there before. Opening it she found a ticket to a magic show, undoubtedly the woman’s, and a little note.

_I hope you do come to the show. After all, I don’t run into gorgeous blondes who are entranced magic every day. And while I am the Great and Powerful Luthor, you, darling, can call me Lena._

Well, Kara knew her plans for that night. Maybe coming to Vegas wasn’t a bad decision after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: A special day at the DEO.


	3. J'onn and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the gay at the DEO gives J'onn a headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one was taken from a comment from FlyingPigPoets, that, quote "How about how freakin gay the DEO is and they all have huge crushes on each other and J'onn just wants telepathic earplugs." unquote. Tho if you want a great example of that, just go read their fic "Implications of Your Heartbreak". Over 200 chapters of quality #DEOGaysGayingItUp
> 
> I have no idea if this was meant to be a prompt or not, but it #InspiredMe to write this drabble. It's short, but hopefully amusing? Probably not good, but amusing.

J’onn once loved coming to the DEO. Not before he could be J’onn, no. That was too tense, reminded him too much of home, of hiding himself away. It was when he could come out of hiding, when he could spend that time with his Earth Daughter and his Space, but not from Mars, Daughter. His family on Earth surrounded him each and every day. And he could be, he was, J’onn, son of Mars, and not Hank Henshaw, distruster of aliens.

And then, Alex Danvers had to go off and meet Maggie Sawyer. At first… well at first he had been concerned. Alex’s roiling emotions were very difficult to block out. But he knew it was important for her; important for humans to go through this process once it started. So he sat back and let her go through it.

That was before his Earth Daughter had figured out exactly why Maggie Sawyer was causing such turmoil in herself. After… he had to handle the thoughts that followed. And that was when his problems began.

This wasn’t technically new to him; sexual emotions tend to be slightly louder than others. And before he trained himself and his inner circle, Agent Vasquez and Director Lane both were notably loud in their sexual imaginations. Almost all of the human agents had thoughts of Kara and/or Alex pass through their heads at one point.

(Admittedly, he would sometimes chuckle at some of the fantasies that were screamed out to him; and their anatomical inaccuracies. It still wasn’t worth seeing those images being bandied about in the world around him.)

But _before_ Maggie Sawyer, he never had to hear these thoughts coming from either of his daughters. And suddenly he was dealing with images of each woman that Alex had found attractive, guilt and intrigue rolling off of her in waves.

And that problem was only compounded the moment that Maggie Sawyer walked into the DEO for the first time. For if Alex’s sexual imagination rolled off of her, Maggie’s imagination of Alex screamed.

(He was glad, really, that he found someone who cared for Alex, and Alex cared for back. He was glad that Alex went through her process and became more… _herself_. But he still didn’t need to see her and Maggie in compromising situations, even if it’s just imaginary.)

However, despite Vasquez, despite Director Lane, despite all the agents who weren’t in the know, despite Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer, he could manage. Each day at the DEO was a bit of a struggle to make it through without a massive ‘blocking everyone out’ induced headache, but he managed.

No, it was the introduction of Lena Luthor as a DEO contractor that eventually pushed him over the edge. Now, it wasn’t as if her sexual imagination was far worse than anyone else’s. She didn’t imagine anything too unsavoury; too different from Alex or Maggie or the rest. In fact, the actual acts she imagined were far tamer, probably, far more loving; filled with whispered love and soft touches. What she did imagine, though, was her and Kara using tools and equipment that _Lena Luthor should almost certainly not know about without signing about a hundred NDA’s that J’onn knows she hasn’t signed_ in very… very… creative ways.

So it’s the day after Lena Luthor stepped into the DEO for the first time that J’onn decided to take some time off to work… on a personal project.

And if he was much happier a week later, wearing what looked like special alien headphones, designed to block out sexual fantasies in specific, well, can anyone really blame him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys had at least a little bit of fun with this one! I had way more fun writing it than was probably warranted.
> 
> While I'm probably going to be busy for a good part of the day (#GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2WithFriends y'aaaaallllll) I probably won't have another chapter up today, which is sad since I'm getting there with "The Magic Show Pt. 2" and a little fic titled "Superman's Gay Panic".
> 
> Also #ThoseSupergirlSpoilers #SpoilerNoSpoiling! But also #ThoseSpoilers
> 
> As usual, kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day, especially comments since it lets me know what y'all are thinking!
> 
> And you can yell at me about anything, literally anything, either down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders, and if there's anything you guys want me to write just let me know!


	4. The Magic Show Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is thirsty... in a totally normal completely honest way and nothing to do with how attractive Lena is when she's doing magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So once again, I have to give a big shoutout to @littlebrother (@littlekbrother on Tumblr) who asked me write this chapter in between us screaming about Supercorp and Katie McGrath at each other and I had a lot of fun doing so! They're the best fic writing motivation a gal can ask for.
> 
> Also I don't do magic. I have ideas of how the two big magic tricks I wrote worked, but I have no idea if they would actually work in that way. The only answer I can give to that is... magic?

The club smelled boozy. That was Kara’s initial impression of the rather cramped building that was the apparent address of Lena’s magic show. But it was quiet, and though Kara didn’t know much about magicians, there seemed to be some high-tech equipment scattered around the edge of the stage; she wondered if they had any use in the show itself. She arrived with 20 minutes to spare, so she found herself a seat near the front and got herself a drink (rum and coke, for the curious).

She had hurried over after showering and doing a full change of clothes (and a quick consideration of whether the clothes she just shed were salvageable); settling for a flowery sundress that complemented the (slightly wilted under the heat) sunflower she had received earlier. She hoped that wearing the flower came off as endearing and not creepy, but she was committed at this point.

The minutes counting down to the show passed agonizingly slowly, with Kara downing three drinks while waiting; a nervous energy buzzing within her. A few people trickled in, and a handful of them tried to approach Kara; men with wide smiles and wandering eyes. She ignored them for the most part, or put on her best “leave me alone” face.

(It wasn’t that great. Her face wasn’t suited for rejecting people. Yet, icy silence got the job done.)

And, suddenly, the lights dimmed as a fog of smoke rolled over the stage, wandering over the edges and almost making it the front row of seats. As it slowly dissipated, a shadow seemed to suddenly appear on center stage, solidifying into something… human, then a shapely human, and finally, thank all the powers in the universe, it became… Lena.

Kara watched her eyes scan over the audience, drinking them all in. When her eyes found Kara, Kara desperately hoped that she didn’t imagine the small smile and twinkle in her eye. And then, the show began.

Lena began to pace the stage slowly, gesturing to the audience. “Ladies and Gentlemen and Others. I am so honoured tonight that you decided to join me on this adventure; where the borders of reality shall blur, and your… faith in magic,” a dramatic pause, and a flourish of her hands, suddenly holding a bouquet of roses, “restored.” Quiet, polite claps filled the crowd, with a handful clapping a little louder. (Kara may or may not have been one to do so). She grinned and took a small bow, seemingly haphazardly tossing the bouquet into the audience; except that direction happened to be toward Kara’s table, landing directly into her outstretched arms, and the small smile returned, vulnerable and earnest. Kara’s heart fluttered a little; another point where she hoped, desperately, that she wasn’t imagining what was happening.

“Ladies and Gentlemen and Others, I will be your guide through this journey tonight. If you put your trust in me, just a little, just enough to open your minds then I hope you’ll see. See how much magic there can be in the day to day life. Now, please, I am The Great and Powerful Luthor, and I hope you enjoy the show.” More polite cheering, and Kara fought to keep a dopey grin off her face when Lena’s eyes lingered on her.

The show began simply, with basic conjuring tricks. Pull a coloured cloth out from her sleeve, and then mouth, pull a rabbit out of a hat, letting doves go and having them return to her. But what made this different from any other magic show that Kara had ever seen was… was how joyful Lena acted on stage. How, if Kara paid close enough attention, a giddy smile would pass quickly over her features with each successful landing; the small crinkle appearing between her brows and the top of her nose. How her eyes would seek out Kara after every trick, as if she was judging her reaction. How her tight ponytail waved as her head swung around during her motions. 

(It’s not as if Kara’s gaze was glued permanently on Lena’s face, taking in each micro-expression, or the red of her lipstick, or the slightly more obvious spirals that she wore on her ears. It’s not as if Kara imagined what it would be like for that lipstick to be smeared, over both of their lips, ponytail half undone. Or those eyes dark, pupils blown, yet with the gentle look that she seemed only to share with Kara. Not at all.)

The first act which truly caught Kara’s attention, however, was when she paused, having just somehow “turned” a quarter into several dollar bills in the palm of her hand. “Now, I need a volunteer.” Several hands in the audience rose, Kara’s included almost unconsciously. Lena smirked, eyes checking each volunteer before pointing toward the back (and definitely not at Kara. Kara fought to push down the pang of disappointment). “You there, Wearing the green hat and those fabulous shoes. Yes you! Come up here!” Her voice was soft but excited.

The disappointment in Kara died almost immediately, as she saw the volunteer. A small girl, maybe around 5 years old, walking up the aisle, hand being held by what clearly was a parent, shoes lighting up with each step and a green beanie pushed on her head. That disappointment turned into pure… adoration when Lena stepped to the child, bending down to take her hand, and brought her up on stage. Keeping low to maintain eye contact, she pulled out a microphone from… somewhere and held it up to the girl. “Hey, what’s your name.”

The girl giggled. “Lacy.”

A new smile appeared on Lena’s face; not quite the gentle one that she shared with Kara, but one that clearly spoke to how adorable the child is. “That’s a beautiful name Lacy. And how old are you.”

“5 and a half!” Lacy’s voice sounded so proud and excited to be 5 and a half.

“A whole 5 and a half! Wow!” The audience chuckled, clearly enjoying the little back and forth. The girl grinned, a missing tooth very obviously in her smile. “Now Lacy, do you know what you want to be when you grow up?”

The girl’s hands started waving slightly. “A firefighter! Because they help people and save kitty cats from trees!”

“Well, aren’t you just a regular old Supergirl.” Her grin turned toward the audience for a brief moment before returning to the girl. “Now Lacy, can you tell me what your favourite animal is?”

“Kitties!”

“How wonderful! They’re my favourite too!” The genuine, dorky grin crossed over Lena’s face, and Kara knew that wasn’t a lie. “Now, maybe you should look in this bag.” Lena reached behind herself, under the cape, and pulled out a burlap sack. The girl took it from her hands, and peeked inside. “Now, can you tell everyone what’s inside?” The girl looked at her confused, before mumbling. “Sorry Lacy, but I don’t think people could hear you. Can you repeat yourself.”

She spoke up, more directly into the microphone. “Nothing’s inside the bag.”

Lena fell into a clearly practiced pout. “Are you sure? Why don’t you look again?”

The girl looked down and up quickly, shaking her head. “Still nothin’.”

“How odd, she usually appears when you ask her to. Hmm…” Lena pressed a finger to lip, clearly acting as if deep in thought. “I know! She closed the bag and held it up in front of Lacy. “Why don’t you say a magic word. Any magic word would do!”

Lacy thought about it for a moment before waving her hand over the bag and saying “Please and Thank you!”

“Hmm… Hmmm… I think those are quite the magic words, Lacy, in fact the best magic words I’ve ever heard.” She opened the bag again. “Can you tell us all what’s in the bag now?”

The girl’s gasp said it all, even before she squealed. “A kitty!”

And indeed, when Lena reached in, she pulled out a tiny cat afterwards, who leaned over to sniff Lacy’s hand as the girl giggled, small tongue reaching out and licking her fingers. “Please give a big round of applause to my wonderful assistant, Lacy!” The applause was absolutely genuine this time around. Lacy stayed up there for a bit, helping out with other minor tricks, but she seemed most interested in playing with the cat. (Kara doesn’t blame her.)

After the girl returned to her seat, the show continued on. More volunteers were called up (none of them Kara), each playing their role in whatever card trick or act Lena put on. (Kara distracted herself from her disappointment by having another two rum and cokes). The show had been going on for nearly an hour by that point, and it was clear that she was winding up to her final act.

“So, I’m going to need one final volunteer.” She gazed around the audience, seeing the smattering of hands raised, Kara’s included (even though she didn’t hope to be selected; she hadn’t been yet). Lena made a big show of considering her choices, pacing around the stage, hmming to herself.

“You! The beautiful woman with the flower behind her ear.” Kara perked up, and silently pointed at herself, mouth hanging open slightly with a surprised O on her face. “Yes, darling. You. You’re the only one wearing a flower here.”

Kara walked up to the stage, butterflies flying freely in her stomach. As she ascended the stage, her foot caught the top step, and she stumbled, a hand grasping her shoulder and stabilizing her body. “You alright there, darling?” The question was soft, quiet. Not meant for the audience at large.

Kara could only nod, feeling Lena’s presence so close, the heat radiating from Lena’s hand on her bare shoulder, and Kara wished she could hear Lena’s heartbeat, discover exactly where each pulsepoint was so she could listen to that heart rate climb. She tried to avoid looking at Lena’s lips, knowing that nothing good could come of it. (She failed to, and the little jolt the look shot through her body definitely wasn’t the most helpful in caling herself down.)

Lena stepped back once Kara stood stably on stage. “Now, can you tell us your name? I can’t keep on calling you the pretty girl with the flower behind her ear, after all.” Kara felt her face flush, heat crawling up her face and (far less helpfully) down to her lower stomach.

“K-Kara.”

“Lovely to meet you Kara. Now, I need to know, did you bring any friends with you here tonight?” Kara could only shake her head no. “Okay, well. I guess I’ll have to play the other part in this trick then. Now, how about you stand… here.” She guided Kara to a specific spot on the stage. “And I’ll stand… over here.” She stood on the other end of the stage, and Kara felt the gulf tremendously, wishing that the trick required a more… personal touch from Lena.

“Now, I want you to imagine yourself and myself dancing, okay? Not necessarily together, like a waltz or anything like that, but it can be freestyle dancing in the same area. Got that?” Kara just nodded, and Lena smirked. “Great! Now I want you to count down with me. Starting from 5.”

The two started to speak together. “5.”

“4.” Kara’s heart rate jumped in her chest, completely unaware of where this trick was going to go.

“3.” She imagine Lena and herself dancing, but their clothes are half off, grinding against each other, hands wandering.

“2.” The fantasy went a little further, Lena’s top and Kara’s dress completely discarded, chest to chest, hips swaying with each other, legs slipping between legs.

“1.” Kara tried desperately to realign the fantasy, bring it back within the bounds of what she asked. But it felt like an impossible task, and her imagination almost bordered on something porngraphic.

“0.” And the audience gasped, adoringly. Kara turned around and took a deep breath. For what she saw was… herself. Herself as she looked right now, with her hair in a braid, flowery sundress on, flower behind her ear. And that her was dancing slowly with Lena, in a waltz.

Kara stepped toward it, but with the first step the image flickered and disappeared, and Kara turned toward Lena, whose expression was soft, gentle, a smile on her lips. And Lena approached her, getting close, very close, into her personal space as she stood on her toes, once again. 

Lena’s mouth got very close to Kara’s ear, whispering softly to her in a way that sent a shiver down Kara’s spine and made her want to cross her legs uncomfortably and squirm. _“Meet me backstage in fifteen, okay? That’s if I didn’t totally misread the situation.”_ Before Kara could respond, Lena pulled away, smiling brightly at the audience. “Well everyone! Give a big round of applause for Kara!” Her cue to leave the stage.

As Kara wandered back to her seat, she barely heard Lena’s sign off. Kara was definitely going to need another drink or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! There's a possible third installment of this in the works if people want to see.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day! Especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> Feel free to yell at me about anything (including ideas on how the two main tricks worked) either down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> Next up for this: Mon-El asks a question that he almost certainly doesn't want the answer to.


	5. Mon-El Asks a Question He Really Really Shouldn't Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mon-El wonders what J'onn's new headphones are for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of "J'onn and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" 
> 
> The suggestion for this fic came from @Quarter to Four: "Any chance of a continuation where somebody asks what the new headgear is for?" This fic isn't... quite that, but hopefully it's close enough!

Mon-El was not as clueless as he loved to let people believe. He knew of his own reputation outside of Daxam. He knew how charming he could be, if he put the right spin on it. He knew that Kara was, by far, one of the most beautiful persons he had ever seen.

And he definitely knew that Kara wouldn’t love him without a… little push from himself. So, that’s why he was at the DEO. To prove himself a worthy suitor, and perhaps get some one on one interaction with Kara. So when J’onn walked in wearing what seemed like a massive pair of headphones, well, he might have gotten curious.

Day in, day out, as he watched as J’onn walked into the DEO, spent all day wearing those headphones (which disproved that they acted as a hindrance to hearing), his curiosity grew. What did those headphones do exactly?

He tried asking J’onn directly once, but all he received was a thin smile before J’onn simply said “No.” So he was left with… indirect means of finding out. He made it a habit to be in J’onn’s general vicinity as often as possible, keeping an eye and ear cocked for the purpose of the headphones. Nothing happened on those occasions though.

Yet, one day, Mon-El got his chance. J’onn was off doing something that probably involved fighting aliens and being a hero or something selfish like that when he saw 

The headphones resting gently over his ears, “Now, what can you show me?” He chuckled, intensely aware that _the ears and eyes are two different things!_ Ha, he’s the funniest.

Once the words slipped out of his mouth, however, the headphones started whirring. And suddenly, he was _seeing_. Images of Kara and… a brunette woman that he should probably know (since Kara’s talked about her as her best friend, or something like that. Something sounding like lezzie mate.) half naked, kissing. Well, an enjoyable start. He sat back grin on his face. The kissing, however, morphed into something else; the two curled up on a couch, holding hands gently. Well, less enjoyable start. “Why aren’t you giving me the good stuff?” More images came to him, long walks on the beach, fully clothed bed cuddles, lunches where they’re making silly faces at each other.

Ugh, boring. He reached up to the headphones, trying to pull them off, when he received one final image. Kara and that… woman whose name he doesn’t remember, sitting down on a couch, facing each other. And for the first time, one of the images speak. Kara, in this case, pouting. “I really don’t know what to do with Mon-El. He just keeps on… trying to be near me, and it’s annoying. I don’t need another lost puppy following me around.”

He frowned. Wasn’t Kara honoured to be near him? But the image continued, this time the other woman speaking. “Well Kara, I don’t know what to tell you. I know that he doesn’t listen to you, and is basically rude and disrespectful and the worst, but can’t you transfer him to someone else? That way he won’t be bothering you as much any more.“ His frowning intensified. Well, this bitch was wrong. Clearly.

But Kara. Kara just nodded. “You’re right. I’ll talk to J’onn in the morning. Don’t know how he’ll break the news though.”

The other woman shifted closer to Kara, hand reaching out to grab hand. “Does it matter?”

Kara smiles. “I guess not.” The two kiss, chastely. “It’s not like any of his character traits are attractive, after all.” The image ended, and he could finally rip the headphones off of his head, tossing them to one side.

If Mon-El was to be found later, curled up in a corner, rocking gently, whispering over and over to himself, “She doesn’t find me attractive. Why is everyone here gay? I thought… I thought…” Well, maybe he just got the shock of his life.

And if J’onn finds him, smiles, and simply says “Oops”, insincerity clearly in his voice, well Mon-El couldn’t really find the time to reflect on that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the lead-laced salt I threw as much as I enjoyed throwing it.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day! Especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> You can yell at me about literally anything (like, whether I should have thrown salt-laced lead instead) either here down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> Up Next: Either The Magic Show Pt. 3 (Blame @Littlebrother) or Lucy and Kara have a very Long Talk (and, oh, yeah, Lena's there too). Don't know which yet though.
> 
> Love y'all! Hope you have a good day!


	6. Super girl's Two Favourite L.L.'s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Lucy finally ended the most extra game of hide and seek, there's a lot that needs to get discussed about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first off, credit goes to @arch101 who specifically asked for this continuation. Hope it lives up to what you hoped!
> 
> Also, there's a fairly good chance that, if you read Rhino(RhinoMouse)'s Prompt the Multishipper Superlane chapters, that parts of this chapter feels familiar. I'm sorry about that, but really it felt like an inevitable thing in the end of the day. They really captured how Lucy would react to Kara feeling isolated.
> 
> Also I hate the ending of this, but it was either that or add another thousand words or so. So I chose the path of least resistance.

Tension filled the room. It was fairly difficult for it not to, really, considering Lucy’s dramatic entrance. Kara and Lucy stared at each other, while Lena’s face just screamed “I’m loving this way too fucking much”. 

(When Lena had first brought up Lucy, she hadn’t dreamed, not for a moment, that it would end up this way. She thought that she could subtly poke fun at Lucy and not give away the game. That she could get the short Director all riled up and have a long laugh about it afterwards. This... this is way, way fucking better.)

(And if her stomach bottomed out a bit, watching how these two look at each other, well, that wasn’t entirely her fault.)

Lena’s not surprised when Kara, after that moment passed, shot across the room, wrapping up Lucy in a tight hug. Lucy, on the other hand, clearly wasn’t expecting it given the little squeal that she emitted.

(Lena didn’t even bother hiding her renewed laughter.)

“Lucy! Lucy! Lucy it’s you! It’s really you!”

And, oh so very clearly, Lucy had no idea how to respond. She just remained stiff, arms clearly struggling to decide whether or not to return the hug; before Kara stepped back, looking at Lucy, crinkle very visible.

“Wait… Why were you… in Lena’s…? Were you spying on her? Because she’s not like her brother! Or mother!”

And if Lena melted at the assertion that it was far more likely that Lucy was _spying_ on Lena than Lena had kidnapped Lucy, well it’s not like anyone who wasn’t Kara couldn’t tell that she had a massive crush on her.

Kara’s accusatory tone seemed to snap Lucy out of it. “No! No it’s not that! Lena and I are actually friends!” Kara glanced over to Lena, seemingly for confirmation; a small nod was all it took, for Kara to squeal.

“I’m so glad! You two are like two of my favourite people, along with Alex and Winn and James, even though that never got unweird?, and J’onn, but like Alex is my sister, J’onn is my space dad, Winn is like just my best friend, which isn’t to say that you two aren’t my best friends also, because you definitely are! But it’s different with Winn since he’s been there since the beginning of Supergirl and wait…” The pieces were slotting into place, Lena could easily tell. “You were off… somewhere when Lena came to town. How did you guys become friends?”

And Lucy was on her own there. No way was Lena intervening in that.

So of course, Lena ended up saying something. “I think you two might want to have some time on the balcony?” She gestured to the door; hoping that they’d take the hint. And very fortunately for Lena, they did; stepping outside, and closing the door behind them, standing in front.

The two spend about twenty minutes talking, in which Lena’s productivity was shot, keeping the corner of her eye on the door, while she muddled through some of the more mindless work being CEO had to offer. Even so, she had to double and triple check, concerned that her distracted mind made stupid mistakes. She was shaken from this reverie by the door swinging open; loudly.

Lucy stormed back in, Kara hesitating at the entrance. “I’m going to kill them. I’m actually going to fucking kill them.” And she simply just left the room.

“Kara?” Lena turned toward her, examining her; the emotions flickering over Kara’s face, from guilt to relief to anger. She glanced at Lena, seemingly shrinking into herself. “Kara come on in and sit.” When Kara remained motionless, Lena stood, touching Kara gently and guiding her to the couch. Once Kara sat, Lena sat next to her, lightly keeping a hand on Kara’s. “Kara, what happened?”

A few deep breaths from Kara reveal that she’s collecting her thoughts. Then she started speaking. “Well, umm… Lucy told me what was up and about the game and I was just… just… so sad? And it brought up a lot of feelings, like for the fact that… everyone besides you… seemed to be disappearing on me, even Alex and then to learn that Lucy, Lucy of all people, was playing some kind of… game? That specified staying away from me? And you two were in on it. And it just… hurt so much.”

Lena held out her arms and Kara fell into them, tears glistening down her face. And Lena’s heart broke, realizing how her _best friend_ must have been feeling this way for a long time now. “Kara, I didn’t… I didn’t realize.”

“I know you didn’t. Neither did Lucy. That’s why Lucy said she’s going to fucking kill them, because you’re both so good and kind and smart and if you’d realized that I was… I was feeling this way and maybe we should stop Lucy because it’s none of their faults beyond mine for feeling this way because I hate change?”

Lena just held Kara tightly. “Kara, no. Lucy’s not going to actually kill them, and you are not at fault. Now I’m not going to push you on why you felt this way, not at the moment. But I’m always here for you. Alex certainly is too, even if things have been strained on that front recently. But right now, we’re going to sit here, close your eyes and rest. Okay?”

Kara sniffled a few times, Lena’s fingers carding through her hair, as she just nodded weakly.

“Also, I know that Lucy will be there for you too. She literally… came out of the closet for you. I think that’s worth something.”

At least that earned a watery chuckle from Kara. It was something.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Lucy Lane should have known. Lucy should have seen how fragile Kara had become because of her game. How she withdrew into herself. But no, because she exiled herself from Kara’s presence, she didn’t see it. Because she didn’t want to examine Kara too much, make herself lose the game, she didn’t see it. Didn’t see it until it was too late.

So to say that she was pissed off was a bit of an understatement. She was _furious_ at each and every individual who let this happen, especially herself. Sure she couldn’t take all of the blame: Alex led her to believe that Kara was truly happy. James and Winn’s activity as Guardian somehow rocked that friendship. J’onn… well she wasn’t entirely certain what J’onn had done, but he usually knew better than that.

(She didn’t spare a thought for her own doings; not at this moment. That can come later, that can come with Kara.)

The first order of business was summoning the relevant parties. J’onn, Winn, James and Alex were called into the main DEO conference room, where Lucy awaited them. (Vasquez was, fortunately for herself, actually out on a mission. Not that Susan bore much of the blame, really. Of all the participants, she was the one furthest from Kara; less likely to see what was actually going on.)

And, once they’ve all gathered, Lucy was content to stare at them, in silence, hoping that they’re reflecting on the reasons for why she called them there. She wondered, briefly, what kind of thoughts were going through their minds; what nightmare scenarios they imagined. They almost all certainly knew it had to do with Kara; this was her inner circle, after all, but beyond that 

Predictably, Winn broke first. “So, it’s not like I’m not happy to see you guys because you all are great, if not a little scary, but what exactly… are… we… doing… here?” His voice trailed off as Lucy turned her eyes to him.

“Well, first things first, the game is over. Kara found me.” Lucy kept her tone even, trying to see what conclusions they’d draw on their own.

James chuckled; clearly drawing the wrong conclusion. “Well isn’t that great? I’ve got to say, it was sort of weird having to hide you at CatCo the few times you came over. Thank God that I installed that lead lined cabinet, now isn’t it?”

“Yes, how… fortunate. Now, can anyone tell me why, in the seven months I was playing that stupid fucking game, how, somehow, Kara felt abandoned by each person in this room,” she glared at James before he could say something, “and yes I know that includes me?” Alex just blanched, already reexamining every interaction with Kara, wondering how it could have gone awry. J’onn remained impassive, and she couldn’t quite get a read on him. Winn and James glanced at each other, and they clearly knew what went wrong.

“So, this is what’s going to happen. Each and everyone of you are first going to meet me in the sparring room for an hour. We’ll spread it out over two days, just so I can effectively kick all of your asses and not be lagging by the end. James first. Then Winn. Then Alex and finally J’onn.” She looked around, daring anyone to challenge her. No one spoke.

“While that’s happening, you lot are going to go and actually _talk_ to Kara, figure out, if you don’t know all ready,” a pointed glance at James and Winn there, “why Kara feels like you abandoned her. I suggest letting Alex go first, because almost certain she’s going to be bursting out of this room and running to wherever Kara is as soon as I let you go. I don’t care how it goes after that, but I will be checking in with Kara after I finish with J’onn. If any of you haven’t talked to her by that time, I will come for you. Understood?”

Nods around the table, and Lucy just waved her hand. “Dismissed.” Alex bolted out of the room immediately, phone already dialing.  
__________________________________________________________________________

By the time she had finished sparring with J’onn, Lucy _ached_ from deep inside her bone. She had not spared a single ounce of energy, and while her entire body begged her to go and sleep it off, she had to, _had to_ check in on Kara. So, even though her final steps were on wobbling legs ready to collapse, she managed to stand up straight as she banged on Kara’s door. 

Really, she should have been unsurprised that Lena opened the door; the two seemed as if they ought to be practically inseparable; near soulmates and all. But she froze; not quite sure how to speak up.

Eventually the first words that she could think of slip out of her mouth. “Um, is Kara in?” Lena just nodded, and moved to one side, letting Lucy in. Lucy looked toward the back, and saw something… wonderful.

Kara’s beaming smile, as she rushed over and hugged her nearly as tightly as she did the day before. At least this time, Lucy found it in herself to hug back. “Lucy! I’m so glad to see you! I know you’ve been sending everyone over, really it was obvious when J’onn came over to chat, and I can’t thank you enough because we worked through a lot of issues, like how Alex is slowly working out her own life and needs space or how Winn and James really want to do well with Guardian even though that’s a bit ridiculous and not everything is fixed but really things are so much better and I’m so glad that you came out of the closet, well not that closet, the one Lena had been in, I mean, the one in Lena’s office which, I presume she’s been in before but no the one she was in because she was in that one too, and I know you know so like I’m not outing her, and though I’ve always wondered if you’re closeted in that respect or just quietly out or not at all which would be cool, even though it’d be a little sad because don’t you think girls are pretty? Like, gosh, I have two of the prettiest girls in the whole wide world right here and well, away from my vivid fantas--I mean, my imagination, I’m just so glad you’re back in my life.” Kara’s remained tightly around Lucy’s body.

Meanwhile, Lena and Lucy shared a confused glance, neither of them really being able to find the right words. Today was about to get… interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it wasn't awful!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and likes make my day, especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> Feel free to yell at me about literally anything (like how weak that ending was, srs) either down here on the comments or on tumblr @alienbeegenders! People can attest that I love it when others yell at me.
> 
> Hope y'all have a good day and love y'all!
> 
> Next time: who knows? It's probably one of about 3 different fics at the moment.


	7. The Magic Show Pt. 3 OR: The one you've probably been waiting for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and her liquid courage get her backstage to meet with Lena.
> 
> Thirst ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as always with these Magic Show chapters, s/o to @littlebrother (@littlekbrother on Tumblr). This AU is our child, and it wouldn't exist if we didn't yell at each other a lot about it. It's now 
> 
> Beyond that, this is the closest I've come to outright smut; and if you can tell it only barely touches that territory. (When I actually write smut, it's weird. Not kinky odd things weird, just, weird "that's an odd way of describing that" kind of weird)
> 
> I'm not sorry.
> 
> Maybe the most cursing heavy chapter so far? I didn't count.

By the time that Kara finally manages to make her way backstage, the alcohol buzzes pleasantly in her veins, adding a boldness and confidence to her step that she couldn’t find previously. The backstage is, unsurprisingly, not much to write home about; an area filled with props and equipment for whatever shows the club currently puts on. Off to the side, there’s a few doors with names on them; presumably changing rooms, places where often used clothes can be stored.

One reads L. Luthor, and Kara pushes herself inside of it; the room smells of sweat and powder and something… intoxicating. Lena’s not in the room, yet, and Kara finds herself rather uncertain. She wants to be there, oh she really does, but she has no idea how… how to wait. Can she sit? Ought she stand? Is she allowed to look at the props? Look through the clothes that Lena’s almost certainly wore before?

After a few moments contemplation, she decides the best course of action is to… simply sit on the floor. It’s easy and doesn’t require much thought. So she throws herself on the floor; the vibration of her ass settling on the floor feeling soothing her. A few giggles escape, that breaks into full out laughter. 

Suddenly, a warm presence is next to her side. “Kara, are you drunk?” Lena and her gorgeous voice, still raw from projecting for the show. It’s so close, and yet Kara wants to feel it against her skin, feel the little puffs of hot breath against her lips. But, wait, didn’t Lena ask a question?

“I’m drunk… on you.” Kara giggles to herself. She’s so smooth. “You’re so talented and pretty.”

Lena simply laughs, her face flushing slightly from the compliment. (Kara wants to see that flush again; wonders how attractive she’ll be if her face is entirely red. Wonders how she can make it happen.) “Darling, you know that’s another way of saying that you’re drunk, right?”

“Not… not my faauuuult. You’re just… so pretty? And it scared me slightly? Because you’re not just pretty, but also a bit of a dork? In the best possible way? And even when I knew how you did a trick? Right? Right? It still blew my mind that you did it with such ease and grace? And God, you were so hot doing so.” The warmth of Lena’s body radiates against Kara’s, and all Kara wants to do is press her whole body against Lena’s, feeling that warmth under her fingers, under her lips. So she does, wrapping both arms around Lena, swinging her legs over onto her lap. Something falls out from behind her ear, but that doesn’t matter because Lena’s body _fucking shivers_ slightly under her, and God…

Somehow her face ends up inches away from Lena’s ears. Her ears and those piercings, just right there and she can practically taste them, the cool metal against her tongue, and she can feel Lena’s hair being wrapped around her hands as if she is actually doing it and Lena’s making these weird breathy noise that she could listen to forever, and wait that is cool metal against her tongue and her hair fisted in Kara’s hands oh _fuck_ that realization strikes her abdomen fiercely. Lenas bottom piercing somehow finds its way between Kara’s teeth (and how that happened Kara is absolutely unsure) and she sucks, wondering if Lena would like that.

“Kara.” The word, _her name_ , sounds as if it forced her way from Lena’s lips, involuntary, and there it is, the most attractive sound she’s ever heard because Lena couldn’t stop herself from saying it, like Kara couldn’t stop herself… 

She quickly pulls away. _Fuck she was messing this up._ “I’m so sorry!” Tears are pulling in the corner of her eyes, and she can’t stop them, doesn’t want to because she should feel sad about this. “I didn’t ask you if you wanted this or if I could suck on your ear it’s just that you’re so attractive and I couldn’t stop myself but that’s not okay so I’m so sorry I promise I won’t kiss you again, no matter how much I want to because that’s not okay and…” the tears start flowing freely, warm and running down her face, dripping on her own lap.

Suddenly a thumb finds its way onto her cheeks and _what?_ under her eyes, brushing away the tears. “Shh, Kara, calm down.” Which, no, Kara definitely shouldn’t calm down, definitely not, and she vigorously shakes her head. “It’s okay Kara, I promise. Come here.” And her arms act without her permission, wrapping around the person talking (oh, right, _Lena_ ) and drawing her into a tight hug.

Lena’s warmth is far more soothing than exhilarating this time around; and Kara presses her ears against her neck, hearing the muted sound of her heart beating steadily. “Kara, it’s okay. You’re drunk, but you stopped yourself before you did anything too bad. And,” Kara feels Lena smile against her, “I’m definitely not opposed to that. Okay? Just, not at the moment, okay? Maybe when you sober up. Now, I think we should get you some water, some food and bed. How does that sound?”

If Kara is to be completely honest, she has no idea how that sounds. She doesn’t want to contemplate a world outside of _here_ being held by Lena. The few remnants of her sober mind are telling her it’s a good idea, but she can’t bring herself to face that reality. Not yet. So she compromises. “Five minutes.”

“Okay darling. Five minutes.” And the warmth wraps Kara close to her and Kara can’t really ask for anything more.  
__________________________________________________________________________

If Lena didn’t find drunk Kara so endearing, she’d be frustrated with… how difficult drunk Kara could be. First off, and pressingly, she doesn’t want to stop _touching_ Lena, and while she wouldn’t usually mind, (and if she is being honest, doesn’t mind), it’s inconvenient to move Kara and push her into a car, taking them both to an Indian restaurant near Lena’s apartment. She doesn’t let go of her grasp around Lena’s neck, even as Lena orders food to go. Doesn’t say anything when Lena asks what she wants to eat. Has trouble navigating the stairs up to Lena’s apartment. How she accidentally blocks the door handle repeatedly while Lena tries to put her key in.

God, if Kara wasn’t so attractive and _nice_ and seemingly sweet. But she would never have been in this situation if those facts weren’t true so it’s probably at least partially her fault.

(And okay, it might have been adorable how her face scrunches up every time Lena tries to leave her grasp, as if Lena’s shoulder is the most comfortable pillow in the world. Or how her face lights up at the food, frowns when she realizes she can’t eat and keep both arms around Lena’s neck, and then tries to eat it one handed. She just hopes it’s worth the stains on Kara’s cute dress.)

Eventually, they manage. The food eaten (and holy shit, how much can Kara put away and still look like… that!) glasses of water poured down Kara’s throat, and all that remains is to put Kara to bed. “Kara, would it be okay with you if you stay here? I’d rather not leave you on your own when you’re in this state.”

Kara’s face explodes with… something like hope. “You mean… I can stay here? With you?”

She can’t help it, but Lena laughs. “Yes darling. You can sleep in my bed.”

“But… But… Will you join me? You’re warm and comfy and safe.” Lena dies a little at the pure earnestness in Kara’s voice. She can’t really say no (nor does she really want to).

“Okay darling. As long as you brush your teeth. There’s a spare brush and some toothpaste on the sink.” And she’s never seen a drunk person move so quickly; with Kara rushing to the bathroom, and Lena can’t help but laugh again. Deciding to make herself useful, she throws away empty cartons, tidying up slightly and grabbing spare pajamas. Just a tank top and some shorts.

(It’s not because she wants to see Kara’s legs and arms, of course not. Not because she realizes that she’s a size or two smaller than Kara, and therefore these would probably be a bit tight on her. It’s because it’s practical. That’s all.)

A voice surprisingly close behind her calls out, startling her. “I’m out!” She turns around quickly, and any words she might have spoken die because Kara had stripped from her dress (leaving her in just a matching lacy blue bra and panty set) and she had no idea that Kara is so… fit.

(She takes it back. She lied only moments ago. Yes, she wants Kara’s arms and legs on display, and that stomach and she wants all of Kara underneath her, or on top of her or anywhere, as long as she can touch and look and taste and that’s not a great idea at this moment but she’s fairly certain her pupils are blown, just trying to see as much of Kara as possible. And her heart is definitely erratic, while her breaths just can’t seem to calm down and she is definitely 100% _fucked_ and not in the way she wants to be, not at this moment.)

“Here! I’ll go get ready for bed myself.” She shoves the clothes in Kara’s hands, and rushes into the bathroom.

(If she takes longer than usual to remove her makeup and earrings, strip from her clothes and put on her own tank top and shorts, brush her teeth; if she uses that time to splash water on her face and try to calm down. Well, Kara wouldn’t know.)

When she finally exits, she sees the blonde sprawled out on her bed, eyes gently closed, glasses put haphazardly on the side table, and she can’t help but smile. She just looks so peaceful.

(Also Lena is absolutely correct: seeing how her shorts seem particularly tight to Kara’s thighs and ass, and how the tank top rides up a little, revealing abs, well, it’s a sight that Lena really enjoys.)

She tries to get into bed, as far away from Kara as possible (which, really, isn’t that far; considering how much room she manages to take up), but as soon as she puts any weight on her bed, Kara’s eyes flicker open. “Hey gorgeous.” Kara’s voice is thick with sleep, and her arms are open. “Come ‘ere.” Lena can find no reason why she shouldn’t, so she lets Kara wrap herself around her; feeling Kara’s chest pressed against her back, the soft tickle of Kara’s breaths against her neck.

The words that Kara spoke earlier come back. _Warm. Comfy. Safe._ Lena can do nothing but agree.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Kara thought she was someone who’d be fond of the sun. She usually is. She likes waking up to it. Likes feeling its heat filter over her face, warming her up with the day. But, in reality, the sun is actually a _fucking douchebag_ which needs to shut the _fuck_ up. She needs it to go away.

But it doesn’t, and she finds her awareness extending to things outside the sun; like the soft pillow under her head or the warm body in her arms, or how her legs are tangled in the soft legs of someone else, how her lips were pressed into a thick head of hair, or how her arms are touching _bare_ skin. Her body freezes for a moment, memories from the night before flooding back in, and the body, _Lena_ stirs softly, and turns to face Kara.

“Mmm… morning darling.” The smile that Lena levels at her causes her to melt. “How much does your head hurt?”

“Hmmm… Only from your beauty.” Kara’s grin is wide, and she can’t help it. She’s so smooth.

“Oh, really? So you wouldn’t want some breakfast now would you? Maybe some… bacon and eggs?” Kara’s stomach grumbles, revealing her preference.

“Well, I mean…” Lena chuckles, trying to roll over Kara, who just grips at her tighter. “Nooooo. Can’t you stay for five more minutes?” She pouts at Lena, watching the brunette’s resolve crack a little at it. “What can I do to convince you to stay?”

A smirk grows on Lena’s face, and Kara… feels things. “Well, you’re no longer drunk, now are you?”

“No I’m not. Why?”

“Well, I’m thinking that…” Lena rolls on top of Kara, legs straddling her hips, lips less than an inch away, Lena’s breath gently dancing over her lips; Kara stills herself, not daring to hope, “we could maybe carry on from last night.” Her smirk softens to a smile, eyes and lips asking, begging, permission.

Kara leans up the last amount, her lips pressing firmly against Lena’s, and then they’re both smiling into each other’s lips between kisses. It only takes a few moments for the kisses to grow longer, more heated, both sets of lips trying to capture the other’s bottom one, managing for brief moments before their mouths shift again.

Somewhere in this time, Kara manages to flip Lena and breaks away, her turn to straddle Lena’s hips. She hopes her smile betrays her _want_. The look that Lena returns; eyes hooded, glancing up and down Kara’s body, her face flushed, and her breaths short and quick. The shoulder of tank top slipping down, revealing her defined clavicle. Kara thinks the message is well received.

Breakfast can wait. Dessert (and Lena) might as well come first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not sorry.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day, especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> And feel free to yell at me about literally anything (like how repetitive these endnotes get, since they have to make me sound like some kind of youtuber, right?) either down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders.
> 
> Hope you guys have a nice day and love y'all! You guys are simply the best.


	8. Secretarial Lunch Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two of the best assistants in National City become fast friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had an itch to write some Kara/Jess the Secretary. And really, considering that I'm the only person who's written this ship ever, I feel a responsibility for it.
> 
> Also, I just love Jess. Jess is great and perfect. #JessIsBae

“So, Keira.” Jess smiles mischievously, while Kara places her head on the table and groans. For some reason, Jess really, really enjoys the noise.

“You figured it out.”

“Yes. Imagine my _great_ surprise when I learned my lunch buddy is the infamous Keira, best executive assistant in all of National City, if not the world.”

Jess spent three whole weeks of rather continuous digging to dredge up that little tidbit, so she allows herself the gloating tone she takes.

(They met during one of the monthly “downtrodden secretaries/assistants who need a place to vent about their bosses” lunch meetings; while Kara has always been cagey about revealing where and for whom she works, the one detail she let slip is that she regularly eats lunch at Noonan’s. Considering Jess can do the same, as evidenced by their recent transition to near daily lunch… meetings, it became a simple matter of process of elimination.)

Kara’s groaning continues, and Jess smirks as she sips on her coffee, winding herself up into a monologue. “I suspected, of course. There are rumours abound about a blonde assistant who could pull of nearly anything under any time constraints as if she could fly, who would willingly do anything for food. Which… is nearly a word for word description of you. They didn’t mention glasses, or the constant ponytail, but a disguise that does not make, especially since, well, no one says Kiera doesn’t have glasses and a ponytail.” She takes another sip of her coffee, using it to draw out the moment.

“The only thing you had going for you is your cardigans, as no one would have suspected that Cat Grant, the Queen of Media and _Fashion Icon_ , would ever tolerate such… a concentration of pastels in one area.”

Kara’s groan quickly dissolves into giggles, as she raises her hands up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, okay! I get it, it’s ridiculous to try to keep such a thing from the genius Jessica Hoang, _second_ best executive assistant in all of National City, finder and keeper of many a corporate secret.” They both break out into quiet laughter, as they focus on finishing up what’s in front of them.

After a few minutes silence, Jess brings the conversation back around. “So, really, why did you not want to tell anyone? Everyone knows that working for Cat Grant is a tough gig; so no one would begrudge you any complaints.”

Kara sighs, putting down her second sandwich, and looks at Jess, eyes soft. Blue shining. “Because, I don’t really have any complaints. Sure, I vent about minor things that annoy me, but Miss Grant works tirelessly and is a great boss. I know she has a reputation as a hardass. Which… isn’t completely undeserved. But she works hard, is fair to everyone despite her… love for colourful language, and she doesn’t need her assistant talking about her behind her back.”

Jess reaches out, quickly placing on her hands on Kara’s. Her hand is warm; a fact that Jess studiously ignores. “I understand. Miss Luthor is a wonderful boss, who keeps on giving me raises simply because I bring her coffee in the morning and I’m actually unsure if my salary is technically larger than her own since she keeps on taking a pay cut equal to my raise out of her own, but her family’s reputation precedes her. And, well, I’d hate it if anything I do reflects poorly on her. So, really, if you need… someone, anyone to vent to without them taking it the wrong way, well I’m here for that.”

The massive smile and quick hand squeeze that she receives sends a rush of… something through her; the lunch ends soon after and by the time she notices she’s watching Kara walk away very closely, she’s left wanting to pound her head against a brick wall. She is almost certainly going to be screwed in the near future.  
__________________________________________________________________________

It takes two months of lunches for Jess to decide that, yes, she is _absolutely screwed_. It started small; with Kara making sure to drop by L-Corp with Jess’ usual order if Jess is too busy to leave the office. Jess, out of politeness (and not because she really enjoys the company of a particular blonde), does much the same.

Then Kara starts to greet her and say goodbye with hugs. While it seems quite obvious that the blonde is a tactile individual, what with the way she buzzes when she’s near people or how she’s very willing to give Jess’ hand a quick squeeze when she thinks Jess needs it, Jess still never quite expects it.

(It doesn’t stop her from enjoying the feeling, enjoying the feeling maybe a little too much. Didn’t stop her from melting into the hugs each and every time.)

Finally, she stops throwing pointed barbs at Kara; sure she can give back as much as she gets, but she stops poking _first_. And if that’s not Jess showing her vulnerability for someone, she’s not sure what is.

The straw, however, that broke the camel’s back is when Kara starts to invite her to after work drinks with Kara’s friends. While Jess’ idea of a relaxing evening isn’t going out to bars or clubs, she says yes because saying no to Kara, even before there’s a pout on her lips, is a difficult task at best. And well, if she found herself crushing on Kara when she’s moved herself into work mode, Kara loose and carefree outside of work is a wonder.

(Of course, the first time she found herself in a club watching Kara dance, she almost forgets about anything else. It’s not her fault that Kara changed from her cardigans to a t-shirt and skinny jeans. It’s not her fault that she’s just learned that Kara could probably bench press her easily. It may be her fault that she’s staring shamelessly, considering the pointed cough and glance that Alex, _Kara’s sister and platonic life partner and from all accounts the feeling is mutual so oh shit she’s been caught by the one person who she should probably have avoided getting caught by_ , gives her. Her only response is to muster the best eyebrow raise she can and not so subtly gesture towards one Lucy Lane, dancing near Kara. That gets her to quiet down.)

So, yes. Jess is absolutely 100% _screwed_.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Jess really shouldn’t have accepted Kara’s invitation to a movie night. It might have made more sense, if she believed that other people were going to be there. But no, Kara made it clear that she’s going to be alone, that Alex is on a date with Lucy (finally!) and James and Winn and the rest are busy doing things and she should have really started inviting Jess around to movie nights long before, so Jess really shouldn’t think she’s Kara’s last choice because (besides Alex of course) they’re all equally tied for her first choice, well second but first really, which makes them all tied for last but that’s a horrible way to put it, but maybe Jess can come over and keep her company?

So Jess, who’s filled with the snark of a thousand Brits, the self-control required for high-stakes corporate meetings, and enough secrets filed in her mind to potentially make her a valuable national intelligence resource (even if she did stop taking the FBI’s recruitment calls) finds herself sitting on a couch just because Kara asked her to. Worse, she finds herself cuddled up on a couch with Kara, the only human being who she’s… this aware of.

(She doesn’t see a long term future in Kara; she really doesn’t. That doesn’t mean, however, she that doesn’t want to make out with Kara when she sees her, or run her hands across her abs.)

To be fair to herself, she tries to maintain a respectful distance from Kara, she really does. However, Kara is apparently a heat seeking missile when it comes to other people. She’s seen how she’ll just collapse onto her friends (and especially Alex) gripping her arms around them and drawing them close. Hell, she’s been on the receiving end of that multiple times. But nothing like this; this is reserved for Alex, and if Alex isn’t there then Winn, then Lucy, then James. Never Jess.

(It’s not that she’s been keeping track of how and who Kara latches on to. It’s just obvious; she only needs a examples to discover the pattern. And, well, if she is paying attention to Kara already, she might as well learn these little habits; it might be useful knowledge one day. Who knows? Not Jess, that’s for sure.)

The movie had ended a few minutes prior, and if you asked, Jess wouldn’t be able to tell you anything about it. (Honestly, she tuned out the moment that Kara mentioned it’s a romantic comedy, and didn’t plug back in anytime since.) Kara’s head is resting on her shoulder and she’s smiling, clearly having actually paid attention and enjoyed the movie.

And then, it happens. “Jess?” Jess’ response is a slight affirmative noise; just enough to let Kara know that she’s listening. “Jess, do you find me attractive?” Both of them remain still; as if this wasn’t a conversation with profound implications on their friendship.

Jess isn’t someone who hides her feelings; not in situations like this. So, even if people wouldn’t suspect it, she feels calm when she replies with an even voice, with a single “Yes.”

Kara just nods. “Good to know. Alex was saying something about it and it got me interested since I find you attractive too and I was wondering if we could do something casual some time?”

Laughter bubbles out of Jess, no matter how much she tries to swallow it down. “And what do you call our lunch dates?” She expects Kara to ramble; it’s the thing she does in situations like this.

She catches, from the corner of her eyes, Kara adjusting her glasses quickly; a tell-tale sign of Kara’s blush. But, when she speaks, Kara’s answer is simple. “Yes, well, maybe it’d be nice to end them in kissing, or for after dinner drinks to end up back here. If you’re interested. Nothing serious, but just some fun.”

Jess grins at that. “I think I can find some time in my schedule for that.”

Kara’s head leans up, looking at Jess, glint in her eyes, lips close. “Oh, well then. Do you have some free time in your schedule now?”

“I just might.” And when their lips press together, softly, needily, and Jess’ hand grips Kara’s biceps, Jess figures that, wherever this road ends, it’s worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed! Let me know what you think! Either down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders! Especially come yell me about Jess the Secretary. Jess the Secretary is Bae.
> 
> Hope you guys have a good day and love y'all!


	9. Cat Grant: World's Best Wingwoman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena both receive an invitation from Cat Grant to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I love Cat Grant. She's the best. I want to be her when I grow up.
> 
> There's really not much for here beyond that.
> 
> Oh! The restaurant name "George's" comes from @littlebrother; I'm the one who modified it from a seafood restaurant to specifically a sushi restaurant. For... reasons. But this is another fic idea that came from us yelling at each other, sooooo....

_Ms. Grant: Kiera. Dinner reservations for 2. Already made. 8 PM. Friday. George’s. I know you love sushi. Wear a nice dress, and do something with your hair that’s not a ponytail._

Kara sighs. It’s… not an unusual text to receive from Cat Grant. And ever since she got back from her yurt adventures, the “requests” have been a bit more frequent. And sure, she can say she has other plans (since she tentatively does, what with Game Night having been delayed for so long, or dinner with Lena.) But, if Kara is to be honest with herself (as she usually is), she’s missed Cat; missed her calming presence and her solid advice. 

Two months ago, Kara would have jumped at this chance; jumped at the chance to see her mentor (and crush). But with everything that’s happened… Mon-El being the worst boyfriend, Rhea’s betrayal of Lena, the Invasion, the rebuilding effort, constant monitoring of lead levels in the atmosphere to ensure it hits that tiny sweet spot. Kara’s a bit tired, and the thought of putting effort into dinner just… doesn’t appeal.

On the other hand, it’s Cat. So Kara sends out a quick confirmation and returns to lying exhaustedly on her couch.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Lena feels annoyed and slightly bothered by the woman sitting across from her. “Cat, what are you even doing at my office? You’ve just been staring at your phone this entire time. I thought that was something that only… ‘Millennials do’?”

Cat tuts, not even looking up from her phone. “Lila, since my business here entirely depends on a message I’m going to receive any moment, I feel that my actions are understandable.”

Lena sighs. Cat Grant’s been a… growing and pleasant part of her existence since everything went to hell. In a lot of ways, it’s as if she’s trying to take Lena under her wings, letting the young CEO grow with access to her considerable experience. So, Lena probably shouldn’t feel thrown off by her continued presence.

However, older women who are nice to Lena haven’t boded well previously, so maybe Lena ought to be allowed a minor panic. After all, fool Lena once, shame on you. Fool Lena twice, shame on her. Fool Lena thrice, and she’s probably dead. Yet, here’s Cat Grant, actual _Cat Grant most powerful woman in Media,_ sitting in front of her, acting like a doting parent.

(Lena’s also not trying to remember ten years ago, when Cat was an absolute Lesbian Icon; all powerful women get the treatment, but oh so very few did she grow up with nor has she sat down across from any of the ones who were back during her puberty. It’s… an interesting experience, to say the least.)

A ding from Cat’s phone draws Lena’s attention to what’s actually happening. Who looks absolutely impassive before addressing Lena.

“Lola, you know have dinner plans this Friday. 8 PM. At George’s, we’ve been there before so you obviously know the way. And I’m fairly sure you love sushi. I’d tell you to dress nicely, but you always do. You’ll have a great time.” And with that she stands, giving Lena a once over before turning and walking to the door. “Instead I’ll just tell you to dress to impress. Now chop chop, you don’t have all day and I have things to do.”

Lena just sighs; obviously she isn’t going to refuse. Even if she wants to, which she doesn’t, Cat would almost certainly make Jess clear her schedule and then force her to come along anyway. “Always a pleasure, Cat.”

Cat just hmms on her way out, not even bothering to respond.  
__________________________________________________________________________

It’s 7:59 and Kara has yet to see Ms. Grant. Which is… a rarity. Or, more like, an impossibility. Kara has never, ever arrived for dinner before Cat Grant; and though she’s shown to a table immediately, there’s still no sign of Cat. It’s enough to make Kara’s breathing stumble, her heart trip in concern.

As a thousand and one horrible scenarios playing out in her mind, she casts her ears outward, hoping to hear her heart, see if she’s in trouble. It only takes a few moments to find her heartbeat, steady and strong; relief before she notices… how odd it is. Her heartbeat isn’t showing any signs of panic; even though it ought to be. Cat hates being late, and she should be shouting at her driver to move faster. It’s also further away than Kara would expect; as if she’s still at CatCo. It’s almost as if… she’s forgotten.

(Except Cat never forgets. Never once fails to meet an appointment without extenuating circumstances. That’s who Cat is; that’s why her assistants usually break quickly. She’s organized and neat and in charge of her life.)

Kara is already fumbling for her phone, trying to keep her fingers steady enough so she can text Cat, ask where she is, without breaking her phone or leaving a hundred typos. (With Cat, she’s not sure which is worse.) Before a familiar voice whispers; a whisper definitely not meant for her, but she picks it up anyway, each of her senses already on edge.

“Oh Cat, you’ve got to be _shitting_ me.”

Kara’s eyes whip up, taking in a familiar figure, a familiar figure wearing a figure hugging red dress that makes her mouth go dry. “Lena?”  
__________________________________________________________________________

Of course Cat isn’t actually going to do dinner with Lena. Of course this is some kind of situation that Cat Grant, _motherfucking Cat Grant_ , set up in hopes of, she presumes, scoring Lena a date.

(And if she regrets the drunken moment she lets slip that she’s 99% gay and that Kara is _gorgeous_ and _pretty_ and _so so kind_ , well she hasn’t not regretted that moment since, so nothing is really new.)

She is going to kill Cat Grant; buy a majority of CatCo and then print an entire issue of both Cat’s worst looks and all of her guilty pleasures.

(Except she can’t stay mad at Cat; not really. Not when Kara is standing in front of her, smiling with that twinkle in her eye, wearing a blue dress that cuts off just beneath the knees and shows off her arms, not when her hair is in an elaborate braid that shows off Kara’s neck and she just wants to put her face there, smell her, taste her…)

And, right, Kara. Kara’s standing there, looking at her, with some kind of… awe in her expression that she can’t quite place. She can see how Kara’s fishing around for the right words. “So, umm…”

And with that, her phone buzzes.

_Cat: Lily. I hope you have a good date._

_Lena: Cat, I swear that I will end you for this._

_Cat: Leslie, dinner’s on me. Enjoy._

She looks up, seeing that Kara also seemingly finished a text conversation. And she sighs; again. She spends so much time sighing because of Cat Grant.

(But if she’s honest, she wouldn’t trade it for the world.)

“Well, we might as well sit down and eat. I know we’re both a fan of sushi and Cat’s paying for it apparently. I’m so sorry though; I presume you’re supposed to be meeting Cat, but you’ve got me instead.”

Even as the both sit down, words rush out of Kara’s mouth, in the same endearing manner as always. “No! I’m so glad to see you! I mean, I wasn’t expecting you of course, because Cat implied, but I guess she never did say, and of course that’s Cat for you trying, tricking me into a date with you because I--” Her mouth shuts suddenly, eyes open.

“A date?” A little flutter of hope rises in her chest, counterbalanced by her use of the word “trick.” Does that mean Kara knows how Lena feels and doesn’t want to date her? Or is she…

“Well, yes, I mean, this feels all kinds of date-like, right? And well Cat knows that I’ve, umm, being trying to ask you out for a while now and just couldn’t bring myself to do it and I’m sorry about that…” Kara’s ramble continues, but Lena’s tuning in out. Kara wants to date her? Is this… even real?

“This is a date?” Her voice is a lot quieter than she anticipates; she didn’t even intend to speak out, but here she is.

“No! Not if you don’t want it to be. But if you do, I’d like it to be?” Kara sounds so uncertain that Lena can only smirk at her.

“Well, darling. I think this is already the best date I’ve ever been on.” Kara’s smile made that silly line absolutely worth it.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Cat is pleasantly surprised to hear her phone ding just after one in the morning. She’s already reading in bed, about to turn the lights off. Figuring that it’s only one of two people, she takes a quick look at the screen.

_Lizzie: Well, I didn’t really a chance to try, but I can tell you that Kara loves sushi for dessert._

Cat sighs. She cares for the young CEO, she does. But she did not need that piece of information.

Well at least they’re getting some. (Though it does bring up some questions about how, really, Kryptonians “get some”; she’d have to ask Clark next time he’s around.) And really, all she wants is for her daughters to be happy. Even if that happiness hinged on information about their sex lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the worst, aren't I?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and please come yell at me either down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders. Love y'all! Hope you have a good day!


	10. Hugging in the Red Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara... doesn't get the hugs she needs. Not anymore.
> 
> Lena decides to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was literally falling asleep while I wrote it. While I fixed the worst of the mistakes caused by it, there's probably still some things bound to be obviously wrong. I apologize.
> 
> It's also a little more... feelsie than the other stuff in this work. Don't know why. Just sorta how it turned out.

There are two facts to know about Kara Danvers and touch:

Kara loves to touch and to be touched.

It’s been over a decade since she’s touched anyone or been touched in a satisfying way. That includes the many, many hugs that her sister has given her.

Lena is intimately familiar with both of them. The first fact needs only observation. How Kara gravitates towards her friends and family when they’re within sight. How, despite the fact that she can _hear_ someone’s heart beat from across a city or hear every minute vibration in a person’s body from a hundred feet, she needs to touch someone to ensure they’re alive; that they’re not broken or dying. As if her touch can confirm life and death.

(How anytime she’s upset her first act is to touch, to reach out to the closest person and ground herself in their physical presence. How, if she doesn’t want to touch, she still melts into another’s touch, pressing her side into them, letting them hold her.)

(That if she doesn’t want to touch or be touched, then something serious is wrong. Something is causing her to overstimulate; that her ability to regulate the very loud and noisy world she found herself in is somehow lost.)

The second fact can only be learned through putting together the pieces, think through all the consequences of Kara Danvers being Supergirl. Think about the seemingly infinite strength she holds in her hands. How she has to treat the world so _gently_. Or else she might break it. Or worse: she might break _them_ ; another loss in a long line of many. That the pure number of calculations she’s performing every moment of every day has to almost be enough to overwhelm her senses anyway.

Though it helps if one can see it in action.  
__________________________________________________________________________

_Kara’s sitting on the couch, a distant look in her eye. She’s been sat like that for several hours; silent and motionless. Only the slight raise and fall of her chest to indicate a breath, once every ten minutes or so. As if she’s doing the bare minimum to exist on Earth. Even then, the number of calculations her brain must be making is enormous._

_And Lena’s heart is breaking; she clearly indicated that she doesn’t want to touch or be touched. Lena couldn’t get her to speak; neither could Alex. It’s as if an imposter took the place of Kara and wanted to draw as little attention to their poor imitation; so they played the role nearly catatonic. Except, Lena knows. Lena knows that Kara is the one sitting there; that Kara is the one not talking or moving. That Kara is the one rooted to the couch, as if she’s glued there. Glue that she placed herself because she _wants_ to be there. Lena has no idea what to do; if there is even anything to do._

_And when Kara finally speaks, it’s not the words Lena’s expecting. “It’s been too long. I’ve forgotten.”_

_Lena tries to speak slowly, tries to make Kara comfortable; as if there’s a way to do that in this situation. “Forgotten what, darling?”_

_Kara takes a deep breath. “I’ve forgotten what touch feels like; actual touch. Touch where I can grip someone as hard as possible, and their hardest actually hurts.”_

_Lena finds herself sitting by Kara; still not touching, yet near. “I know it’s not healthy, but what about when you solar flare? That happened only a few weeks ago.”_

_“It’s… It’s not the same. I feel… off when I solar flare. As if something powerful is wrong within myself and it just throws me off. It’s not… When I’m like that, it’s not real touch. Not like the touch that I’m talking about.”_

_Lena’s mind rushes through the possibilities, trying to solve this problem like she does all others. She has no idea if she can actually do so; she’s not sure what would solve the problem. But she swears she’s going to try; she’s going to search every avenue she can, in order to bring a measure of peace and happiness to Kara. It’s really the least she can do. It’s really the least that Kara deserves._  
__________________________________________________________________________

It takes 6 months to build; another 2 to perfect. She wants to make sure this goes without a hitch; she tests the many various kinds of Kryptonite (being the best available test material; unwilling to subject Kara to false hope and an imperfect replica of her Sun, her _God_. With Clark unwilling to help anyone, especially a Luthor, build something which could depower a Super), watches how its radiation output changes; how those changes would cause it to do no actual harm to Kara. But after 8 long months of hard work, Lena is ready to show Kara the Red Sun Room; fixed with endless Red Sun Solar Energy.

(She commandeered an unused room in the DEO’s main space. A conference room; big enough to be some place where Kara could stretch if she needs to. No one objects; no one even questions her when she temporarily moves into the DEO so she can spend as much time as possible working on her project.)

The first time the red light bathes Kara (the first time she steps into the room; the only time she doesn’t know what’s about to happen seconds from now), sapping her strength and making her feel like she’s standing under Rao’s light once again, she still doesn’t trust herself. Instead, she reaches out to Lena, grasping her hand, tentatively; Kara’s eyes shining with amazement. As if when Kara holds her hand that gently, she’s still surprised she didn’t break Lena. Her thumb traces Lena’s hand absentmindedly; a habit they picked up somewhere and somewhen.

(And she eases into more pressure, ever so slowly, squeezing harder, as if she doesn’t trust her gut feeling or her senses or her understanding of the situation; that if she lets go and tries to _feel_ at this moment, if she squeezes with her strength, she’ll still shatter Lena’s hand into a fine dust. That building up slowly is the only way to be _sure_ , that it’s the only way to avoid hurting Lena. And if her heart doesn’t shatter a bit at that realization, about how much Kara cares about her, it seems like an appropriate reaction to the situation.) 

Lena watches as her smile grows; shock and amazement rolled up into one. As her glance finds Lena and her eyes… soften, as if Lena is somehow perfect in Kara’s eyes. After she squeezes at a satisfyingly solid strength, she lets go of Lena’s hand, reaching up slowly and her arms wrap around Lena’s body with a grip that Lena knows is uncalculated; at least uncalculated in comparison to every moment Kara has her powers. That the kiss Kara plants on her forehead presses satisfyingly; her lips press fully down on Lena’s head, and not their usual hovering state.

(And if they’re both freely shedding tears as they hold each other, tight as they can, bodies swaying together as if dancing to some silent tun, it shouldn’t be too surprising. After all, Fact #3 about Kara and touch: under those seemingly impossible circumstances where she can touch as freely and as hard as she wants, she really does give the best hugs in the universe. Undoubtedly.)

(And if they spend some time in their daily, just holding onto each other as tight as possible, it shouldn’t be too surprising. After all, they both need it, viscerally.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same usual disclaimer. Yell at me if you love it, hate it, don't care a single spit about it or just because you want to. Down here in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders.
> 
> It's... Well it's what I'm here for.
> 
> Love y'all!


	11. Kara's Rebound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat discovers a little secret of Supergirl's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a while since I added anything on this. It's because I'm working on something new and different! A WickedMusical!AU. It's here! http://archiveofourown.org/works/11121705/chapters/24823560 Check it out please! If you want! I'm actually sorta proud of it!
> 
> This was written in the downtime of me working on that. So it's short but I think it works well enough as a silly little thing.

“What did you just ask me?” Kara’s unsure if she even actually asked the question or if she’s just opening and closing her mouth without stopping.

Cat’s rolling her eyes, like she’s explaining something extremely simple. “Please Supergirl, did you know that there is so much attention paid to your love life? People have linked you with nearly everybody. It’s not hard to find you attached to near anyone you’re photographed with.

It’s the persistent rumours, however, that have the most traction. You and James Olsen? You and that Mike guy? You and Lena Luthor? You clearly dated all of them. Well, maybe not that last one yet.” Cat smiles while Kara raises her hand to begin denying. “And those rumours all seem to slacken off, for whatever reason, and then you… mysteriously disappear to Themyscira for a few days; don’t deny it the we have aerial photographs of the massive welcome those Amazons give you. The chain is clear, then. You date these people. It ends, for whatever reason. And then you go to visit the Amazons. So let me repeat the question: Is Wonder Woman your rebound?”

Kara’s fairly sure she is dying. Actually dying. Actually can’t believe she is currently in this position dying. “Ms. Grant!”

“It’s not like I’d blame you if you do. Wonder Woman… Well she is an iconic hero, after all. And attractive as anything. Plus you probably can’t break her, can you?”

So Kara’s not dying, she’s dead. She’s dead and she’s lost from Rao’s light forever. “What?”

“You know, you have a terrible habit of repeating that. It’s no shame, Kara. After all, I imagine that you have to be delicate around all normal humans that it’s fun to sometimes… just let go.“

“Ms. Grant, I thought we’ve been over this… I’m not Kara Danvers!”

Cat just hmms. “I’m sorry, but either you’re Kiera or you just happen to date everyone at the same time as she does and if so, I want in on that arrangement. But something tells me that if that were the case you’d be more romantically linked with Supergirl.”

Kara… doesn’t have a response to that. “So, this is it, huh? Should I expect a CatCo exclusive on my sex life tomorrow? ‘Supergirl’s Gal Pal “Wonder Woman”’ Or maybe you’d prefer “‘Wonder Woman’s’ Gal Pal Supergirl?” 

Cat scoffs. “Of course not. First off, I’d never give you the Gal Pal treatment. It’s absolutely ridiculous. But more importantly, I just want an invitation next time you go.”

Kara’s eyes did a convincing imitation of trying to escape her eye sockets. “E-excuse me?”

“I want to go Kara. It’s an island of attractive lesbians. Of course I want to go there. Just for a little while.” Cat just sips at whatever she’s drinking, as if this isn’t the conversation isn’t a reason to check her sanity.

Kara Danvers has officially died and is the plaything of some evil spirit. But she guesses she can play along. “Fine. I will.”  
__________________________________________________________________________

It so happens to turn out that, that Cat Grant is perfectly capable of making her way to Themyscira on her own; a fact Kara learns one day when she accidentally stumbles into Hippolyta’s chambers instead of Diana’s like she intended to go to, finding Cat under a animal skin blanket. While not wearing any clothes. Seemingly.

(Kara’s not going to use her x-ray vision to discover with certainty. She’s not.)

Where Hippolyta is, Kara has no idea; and really the question is as far from her mind as possible at the moment. And Cat just stares at her, an imperious and challenging look on her face. “Looks like we both need some stress relief. Like mother, like daughter.”

Kara just flees the room, finding Diana’s chamber and collapsing on the bed. It’s almost enough to wish to disappear.

(At least until Diana returns from her training, sweat glistening on her body. And then… well, Kara’s mind switches to other things.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: more Cat Grant goodness. Probably.
> 
> I'm not a masochist but please yell at me about anything either down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> I hope you guys have a good day! And love y'all!


	12. Commander Shepard punches Supergirl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...Things happen and the Normandy ends up in Earth-38. Shepard's pissed. Everyone else is just sorta vaguely confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was an idea first requested by @AlphWolf45 in my fic Kara and the Drunks (Over a whole month ago!)
> 
> But more than one person mentioned it in the intervening time between now and then (special mention to @Its_A_Viking_Thing who was the latest person to mention it.) I've been working on this for a while, but then I got side tracked by my Wicked!AU project (which now is completely written I just have to edit the final few chapters!), and two! other projects I'm working on in secret at the moment. And then I finished playing Mass Effect Andromeda and I felt compelled to finish writing this. There's so much here I don't like but I'm tired of writing this chapter; I'd love to write more of this but I couldn't really handle writing more of the "making them meet" stuff.
> 
> I hope this is still sorta fun.

The Normandy is shaking apart, and Commander Shepard’s pissed. “Joker! EDI! Status Report! What the hell is wrong with the Normandy?” She’s already running to the bridge.

The intercom crackles, static drowning out what murmured voices she could barely make out.

Goddammit. Commander Shepard is not planning on dying a _third_ time.

It only takes a few moments for her to make it to the bridge, but in those few seconds, it’s as if the… the entire world stops and changes. Unclear on what… exactly is happening, Shepard’s just relieved that the power seems to work. Relieved that she doesn’t have to pry open the cockpit door, since they had to go for the door rather than the oxygen shield.

(Images of Joker, free floating through space, often haunts her dreams. That she wasn’t fast enough to make it to him. That…)

(Images like that have haunted her nightmares for months.)

When she enters, though, she doesn’t expect Joker and EDI to just… stare at her.

She tries to shake them out of it. “Status report!”

Joker just glances at EDI before returning his gaze to Shepard. “With all due respect Ma’am, we have no _fucking_ clue.”  
__________________________________________________________________________

“What’s up? Kara’s not happy to be have been summoned to the DEO. It’s date night! She should be out, having dinner and maybe… even making out with Lena. Not at the DEO, with everyone hustling around, in a tizzy. As if World War Three were about to begin (which, judging from the call she got from Alex, it might as well be).

Lucy’s the one in charge, which Kara’s a little glad about. (Not that she wants Lucy and Alex’s night to be ruined as well, but it’s nice to know she’s not the only one.)

Lucy doesn’t even look at her when she starts talking. “Supergirl. There is an unidentified vessel orbiting Earth. We have eyes on it, and we have tried to communicate with it, but we have only received silence. Fortunately, it’s likely that only the DEO knows about this. We haven’t had time to debrief the Pentagon yet.”

“When? When did this happen?”

“About twenty minutes ago. One moment the sky was clear, next moment it popped in, wobbled around a bit and then became… silent. Scans of it didn’t reveal anything useful.”

“So, what do you need me to do.”

Alex steps up to answer this one. “First, we presume you don’t recognize the design?” Kara shakes her head. “Then, you and I are going to fly up to the ship, in your pod, and yes, that’s going to be exactly as uncomfortable as it sounds, and you’re going to scan it. And potentially get us in.”

Kara nods. She’s not sure if she should really do this, but she can’t think of any other plan. And she really has tried. “Got it Alex.”

Lucy gestures at the both of them, still not looking at either of them. “Okay you’re both dismissed. And you” she points a finger at Alex, “better get back here in one piece so we can finish our date.”

Alex smiles softly; a smile she reserves for only a few. “Yes ma’am.”

As they both walk off, Kara overhears Lucy muttering to herself. “Now why the hell is that ship called the “Normandya?”  
__________________________________________________________________________

Shepard wants answers _now_. “EDI?”

“Well, it seems as if we somehow got trapped in a planet’s gravitational pull; though the extent of what happened to the Normandy goes beyond that as a normal occurrence. I have been able to adjust so we are in no danger of crash landing. Instead we are in geosynchronous orbit.”

“Wait, a… planet? We just went through the Omega Relay! There should be _no_ planets! Not for a couple of hours, at least!”

“That is correct, Shepard. Some other phenomenon occurred, presumably at the beginning of the interference, but we are unsure what, exactly, that was.”

Shepard pinches the bridge of her nose. She does not have time to deal with this shit. “Okay, so… what _planet_ are we orbiting?”

Again, EDI and Joker share a glance before EDI continues. “Earth, Commander Shepard.”

“Earth?” Shepard has no idea whether to be relieved (since, well, Earth is Earth. It’s home) or worried since they shouldn’t be anywhere near Earth. “Okay we can work with that. Hail Alliance headquarters, get them to pick us up.”

“We have already attempted to do so Shepard.”

“And?”

“And we have received no response. There’s also potentially the possibility that there is no technology on Earth capable of understanding our signals. We believe that they have attempted to communicate with us, as well, but unfortunately the Normandy is unable to detect and decipher their signals.”

“What? How? Did someone attack?”

“No, Shepard.”

“Then… What… Happened?”

“Considering where the stars are currently aligned around us, this is the approximate place of Earth’s placement in the galaxy in June of 2017. More data is needed to pinpoint an exact date.”

“Wait… Are you telling me we… _time-travelled_?”

“Potentially, Commander. Or we have entered a different universe in which it is currently June of 2017. Or any number of seemingly infeasible options that would explain this. It is merely speculation at this point.”

Shepard really feels the need to punch something. Or someone.

“Work on this. Get me literally anything. Call up Traynor, Liara and Tali to the Bridge, if that’d help. Make sure that Garrus has the guns calibrated properly. I’m going to be in the Cargo Bay with James, so I’ll make sure the Hammerhead is ready to depart. I want to debrief the crew at…” She looks for anything to tell her the current time, before realizing that, no, of course that’s one thing not currently working. “I want to debrief the crew in 30 minutes. Thank God it’s a skeleton crew. Update me if you find anything important. And I mean anything. Understood?”

Joker and EDI just both reply with quiet “ma’am”s. “Good. I should go.” She internally groans at herself. Of course she _should_ go. It’s nothing new. Why did she have to rely on that one phrase to end every conversation?

Hopefully James would be down for a sparring match. If not, she might have to order him to. Get back at all those times he’s called her Lola.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Kara’s pod is _definitely_ not supposed to hold two. And she’s the one squished in the corners because Alex is flying the thing.

(When Kara pouted, and said that she’s the Kryptonian so she should fly the _Kryptonian_ pod that was specifically designed for her, Alex just laughed, and said no. And that was the end of that discussion.)

As they approach the ship, Alex slows down, and Kara takes the time to admire the sleek design of the vessel. She doesn’t recognize it, but it seems to be… human. It’s just… everything about it is filled with minor human touches. Beyond the human alphabet. 

Reminding herself, however, that she’s got a job to do. Her… vision blurs before her xray kicks in; and she’s confronted with a solid black mass. “No good, the entire thing is lined with lead.”

Alex sighs. “Guess we’ve got to do this the old fashioned way. Well… according to these readings, at least there’s an oxygen shield that extends a little from it. So we don’t have to worry about you lasering your way in.”

Kara nods, as the pod opens; and it’s _cold_. It’s cold but it’s close enough to the ship and she can taste the oxygen; oxygen laced with heat and radiation, but it’s enough. She begins to slowly laser   
__________________________________________________________________________

EDI turns to Joker. “There is a breach in the hull.”

“What?” We’ve got to--”

“Jeff, it is of no concern.”

“Oookay…” He doesn’t sound convinced. “Actually no. Why exactly is a breach in the hull of no concern?”

“People are trying to enter the Normandy via the Cargo Bay. However the oxygen shield is holding.”

“Why would that…” Then Joker understood. “Well someone’s about to have a really bad day. Think we need someone to help the Commander? Say Garrus? Or should we let her punch whatever it is and get that frustration out first?”

“James and Steve are with the Commander. If she needs help, one of those two can radio for it.”  
__________________________________________________________________________  
Shepard’s in the middle of tossing James onto the ground when the telltale signs of something trying to laser a hole into _her_ ship (again!) begin. The slight acrid smell, the sound of metal melting and twisting. This is all old hat to her, and it’s just as frustrating as last time.

So Shepard’s pissed. Very pissed. And she’s ready for when the… person (?) with long flowing blonde hair sticks her head out. Summoning as much of her own biotic powers as she could, she punches the woman in the face. And, that’s when several of her bones shatter.   
__________________________________________________________________________

Kara looks shocked; is shocked. The redheaded person (who looks a little like Alex) in front of her is completely 100% human. Well, except for vast amounts of cybernetic implants inside them a quick x-ray told her. But they shouldn’t have granted the strength to hurt her. And yet they did. Even if they’re now clutching their hand, their face in agony, they still managed to land a proper punch which hurt Kara. While she’s Supergirl. And has all of her powers. It should basically be impossible.

“How?” Kara and the person said at the same time. And then without letting the other continue, they both launch into questions.

“What the fuck is your face made out of?”

“How did you even manage to hurt me?”

“Why the fuck are you on my ship?”

“Did you… glow blue?”

“What the fuck is even going on here?”

They both pause to take a breath, the other person staring at Kara in confusion.

(Kara supposes that her expression mirrors theirs’.)  
__________________________________________________________________________

It takes twenty minutes for Alex to settle down both Kara and this other person, who quickly introduces herself as one “Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy, Citadel Spectre.” By the time that they’re done, a small crowd has gathered; one filled with apparent aliens and humans… just happily standing side by side.

(And if she can’t admit it doesn’t make her smile a little, hearing how these people are making small bets, not even trying to hide it. “How quickly do you think Shep can take this one down?” “Twenty credits on her pinning the blonde in less than a minute. Twenty more on it taking two for the redhead.” She’d complain… but she does suppose they haven’t exactly introduced themselves.)

Once everyone calms and an uneasy quiet descends upon them, a synthetic voice, then, fills the room (which is some kind of storage area? Probably too big for that though. Maybe a bomber bay then Doesn’t explain the vehicle though). “What is the date currently?”

Alex spins her head around, trying to locate the source of the voice while Kara frowns. “Excuse me?”

“What is the current date?” The voice repeats, in the exact same careful and modulated tone.

Kara speaks up. “I mean, I don’t know what calendar you use, but here on Earth it’s June 14th 2017.”

A quiet hum fills the air, as if the synthetic voice is processing, while Commander Shepard and the rest of… the crew? Or whatever they are seem to wait with bated breath. “Commander, there is insufficient data to conclude whether or not we actually time travelled or jumped dimensions; the only two theories with any evidence, no matter how circumstantial, at this moment.” And their audience groans.

Alex sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose, turning to Kara. “You know who we need?”

Kara cocks her head, an inquisitive gleam in her eyes. “Who?”

“Sara.”

Kara claps wildly and Alex groans. And everyone else looks very confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed. If you want to read more of this, let me know.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day!
> 
> Come yell at me about anything in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> Hope you guys have a good day and love y'all!


	13. Lena The Drunk Commie Texting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't even. This is crack. Pure crack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is based off a real text conversation I had with my brother, and mixed with a head canon that I have that drunk Lena likes to swear at Lillian.
> 
> This is absolutely bizarre. The second half is about 75% real texts I sent my brother, only cleaned up to match Lena "probably is distressed when her texts use any informality" Luthor's style and the context.
> 
> The first half is just cute fluff.
> 
> It is 100% pure crack.

**Kara Kool-Kid (22:43):**

<3

**Lovely Lena (22:43):**

You know what, fuck you.

 

**(22:43):**

And people think I’m a pretentious prick.

**Kara Kool-Kid (22:44):**

Lena?

 

**(22:45):**

Babe?

 

**(22:45):**

Is everything okay?

 

**(22:45):**

Because that hurt.

**Lovely Lena (22:45):**

Kara, darling, I’m so sorry!

 

**(22:46):**

That wasn’t meant for you!

 

**(22:46):**

That was for Lillian.

 

**(22:46):**

We were having an argument.

 

**(22:47):**

And then I got your text.

 

**(22:47):**

And both you and Lillian in my 

phone starts with the same letter.

 

**(22:48):**

So I didn’t realize I was sending it to you.

**Kara Kool-Kid (22:49):**

K :)  Glad it’s not for me! <3

 

**(22:49):**

Sorry your mom is evil.

 

**(22:50):**

2 q’s tho.

 

**(22:51):**

1) Did u set up ur phone so that it places

a . whenever you send a text

that doesn’t have punctuation?

 

**(22:52):**

And 2) whats my name in ur phone?

so u didnt recognize it immediately as not

ur evil mom.

**Lovely Lena (22:52):**

1) No.

 

**(22:52):**

Okay maybe.

 

**(22:53):**

2) Not going to answer.

**Kara Kool-Kid (22:54):**

Aww, babe come on.  :)

**Lovely Lena (22:54):**

… No.

**Kara Kool-Kid (22:54):**

Pls?

 

**(22:55):**

I’ll pout if I have to. 

**Lovely Lena (22:56):**

No fair.

 

**(22:57):**

… It’s “Love of My Life”.

**Kara Kool-Kid (22:57):**

:’’’’’’’’’)

 

**(22:58):**

OMG babe I love u too!  So so so much!

 

**(22:59):**

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 

**(23:00):**

As soon as I’m done Supering, I’ll come over.

 

**(23:00):**

And show you how much.  ;)

**Lovely Lena (23:01):**

Please do.

 

**(23:01):**

<3.

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

 

**Lillian (22:41):**

I raised you to have proper manners in

my household.

**Lena Luthor (22:45):**

You know what, fuck you.

 

**(22:45):**

And people think I’m a pretentious prick. 

**Lillian (22:45):**

Now, is that any way to talk to your mother?

**Lena Luthor (22:48):**

“My household” we’re not characters

in a fucking period drama and I’m not

going to call you Mistress or Lady

or whatever title you’ve imagined

for yourself.

**Lillian (22:49):**

That’s why you’re cursing me out?

**Lena Luthor (22:50):**

Still, “proper manners” well, okay are you

some kind of landed lord or some shit?

 

**(22:51):**

You don’t get to dictate what proper

manners are.  This is America you fuck.

**Lillian (22:52):**

Are… Are you drunk?

**Lena Luthor (22:52):**

Only drunk on freedom.  You uncultured

fascist this isn’t Soviet Russia.  I’m so fucking

glad that I just went and rebelled against your

tyranny earlier.

**Lillian (22:53):**

………. This is an extreme

reaction you’re having Lena.

**Lena Luthor (22:53):**

Lillian I swear to God I will end your evil.  You’re already

like three steps away from being a dictator.  I can’t, what the

fuck is up with this.  Your evil shall not keep me

or my loved ones down, since I’m going to barricade

“Your Household” and fight you.

 

**(22:54):**

Except this time, the revolutionaries win.

 

**Lillian (22:56):**

Lena, darling, there’s a step missing.

You know, the part in which you tell me

what specific event you are referencing.

(Probably the French Student Protests of

1848, just to let you know.)

**Lena Luthor (22:57):**

God, you fucking bougie piece of shit.  You 

won’t  even acknowledge the students 

r evolutionary  behaviour.

 

**(22:57):**

You fly our flag without acknowledging it.

 

**(22:58):**

Also fuck, the uncultured bit of “Uncultured

Fascist” is so fucking true.  Barricades being

revoultionary is, of fucking course, a

reference to “Les Mis”, which 

popularized  the concept.

 

**(22:59):**

I’m not going to shed any tears when you

end up in a gulag come the revolution.

**Lillian (22:59):**

Remind me never to talk with you

when you’re drunk ever again.

**Lena Luthor (23:02):**

And the bougie reveals 

her true fucking colours.

 

**(23:02):**

You can’t oppress the proletariat forever.

 

**(23:04):**

Now goodnight Mother.

 

**(23:05):**

My alien girlfriend is about to give me an orgasm

which is better than any you have ever received.

 

**Lillian (23:09):**

…  Goodnight Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the formatting was weird or off, first time really trying to attempt something like this.
> 
> While I just banged this out while working on some other projects.
> 
> Love y'all and hope you guys have a good day!


	14. Director Luthor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy Lane is very... intrigued by the CEO of L-Corp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: brief mention of military service and combat, as well as rape in the military.
> 
> (Edit: i feel really silly b/c there are a handful of what I call Director Luthor fics out there that aren't Kara/Lucy/Lena. My earlier searches didn't pick the most up.)
> 
> Director Luthor runs side by side SuperSecretary. It's not an officially follow up from that chapter but it works. (Just presume that Alex/Lucy didn't work out.)

Really, ever since Kara started… seeing that Secretary from L-Corp, Major Lucy Lane has been paying a lot closer attention to the company.

(To protect Kara, of course. Lena Luthor may not be her brother but she’s definitely the model of certain kinds of ruthlessness. And seeing Jessica Hoang, rumoured right-hand woman to Ms. Luthor, could easily put sweet, innocent Kara in the path of whatever plans L-Corp has.)

It doesn’t hurt that the face of the company, Lena Luthor herself, is so damn _hot_. After all, anything that make the little tasks Lucy sets for herself easier is very welcome. And Lena Luthor _is_ the face of L-Corp. She makes every major announcement herself. Every important demonstration, she’s there, and most likely handing (actually _handing_ ) the honours to someone else.

However, the little things that Lucy Lane notices? That’s all in her background as a military lawyer (prosecuting military rapists requires a lot of attention to detail, considering how notoriously close-knit units can become) as well as her desire to protect Kara.

So when Ms. Luthor always thanks her secretary first, Lucy notices. When Ms. Luthor is only seen wearing any clothes that don’t scream “I’m the most powerful CEO” during her public appearances at the Children’s Hospital, where she seems to favour yoga pants and soft t-shirts, Lucy notices. When paparazzi photos reveal that Ms. Luthor wears the most adorable pair of thick frame glasses when she’s not in public, Lucy notices.

(Lucy doesn’t notice, or at least tries hard not to, how many of these little facts she picked up involve how attractive Lena Luthor is.)

(Lucy totally notices this.)  
__________________________________________________________________________

It’s with no small amount of trepidation that Lucy finds herself outside of Lena Luthor’s office door, waiting for her appointment to begin. It took weeks of browbeating Jess, just a little, to get her onto Ms. Luthor’s schedule; fortunately, a senior legal position opened up at L-Corp, and a former Legal Counsel to CatCo would be perfect for said job. 

(Does Lucy want the job? Not really. But she really really needs to observe this woman in person. For Kara’s sake.)

(It definitely has nothing to do with how Lucy recently learned how much Lena Luthor gives to charities in both money and time. Nor how Winn raves about L-Corp’s new water filtration project that could, if successful, single handedly solve unclean water issues in many parts of the world with little cost. Nor the entirety of their green initiatives, which sets industry standards; such as free provision of carbon scrubbers to factories and designing every building to be as energy efficient as possible.)

(It has nothing to do with Lucy slowly coming around to the thought that L-Corp, and more importantly the woman running it, is a real “force for good”.)

And, considering the broken look of the man who just scurried out of the office, Lucy is fairly certain she is nowhere near prepared to face the woman inside. So her trepidation is probably well founded.

But Jess gives her a small, familiar, smile and waves Lucy in. And so, she steels herself and pushes the door open.

(She’s terrified, but the adrenaline spiking through her veins is familiar. She knows it well from several tours of duty.)

(It doesn’t stop her from feeling like an awkward teenage asking out their crush.)  
__________________________________________________________________________

The first thing that Lucy notices about Lena Luthor in the flesh is… how much softer she appears in real life. The Lena Luthor one sees, even in secret paparazzi photos, is sharp and powerful; only moments away from cutting anyone down to size. Her jawline contoured to cut steel, her makeup and clothing impeccable. She looks as if she could spend a whole day under bright interrogation lights without breaking a sweat.

The Lena Luthor sitting in front of Lucy, though, has soft lines, rolled up sleeves and ink smudges on her wrists. This Lena Luthor still has the powerful jawline, but not drawn to cut steel but express any emotion. This Lena Luthor looks exhausted, yet content, as she scribbles a handful of words onto whatever paper is sitting in front of her.

(Lucy Lane instantly falls in love, just a little, with this Lena Luthor.)

“Major Lane?” Lucy nods. “Please have a seat.” As Lucy does, Lena Luthor pulls out a file and opens it on her desk, what appears to be her resume. “Major Lane, your qualifications are unimpeachable and Jess spoke highly of you. That’s almost enough for me to just skip this whole interview and try to get you on my payroll as soon as possible.”

After a moment’s silence, Lucy feel as Ms. Luthor is waiting for her to move the conversation forward. “But?”

Ms. Luthor chuckles, though it doesn’t sound mirthful, versus just expected. “Not a but. A so. So, really, the only question I have is, Major Lane, why would Lois Lane’s younger sister ever want to work for a Luthor?”

“Well, I hardly see Lex’s… transgressions as your fault, Ms. Luthor. You are not Lex and I am not Lois. And really, I probably hate the comparison to my older sibling almost as much as you do.”

Lena tilts her head and regards Lucy. “Whether or not that’s the case, if someone had repeatedly threatened the life of… someone I cared about, I’d be wary about working with anyone related to that person.”

Lucy decides to be honest. “Truthfully, Ms. Luthor, I didn’t come here about the job. And yes, I did come here about you and your intentions.” Something flashes in Lena’s eye and Lucy finally _sees_ why people are scared of Luthors, have been long before Lex. This state would break many a strong person. But actual combat was nothing if not good experience for such occasions. “I wanted to, badly, meet the intriguing CEO who works so hard to make the world a better place. Who forces herself into the spotlight and yet doesn’t accept any praise. And can I say I wasn’t ever worried about your family? If I did it’d be a lie. But that quickly was overcome when I saw not a Luthor, but Lena Luthor, gorgeous CEO of L-Corp who can actually save the world.”

Lena nods, her expression inscrutable.

“Well, Major Lane, while there are a few more interviews I have to attend to, you are the current leading candidate for the job. So you can either go and talk with Jess outside, and get the process started on drawing up your contract. Or…” Lena suddenly smirks.

Lucy swallows heavily, unsure what is about to happen. “Or?” She manages to push out.

“Or, you and I could go out for dinner and drinks at, say, 8 tonight? And I can call you Lucy and you can call me Lena. Unless… you want me to call you Major Lane.”

And really, Lucy thinks it’s not much of a choice at all. She smiles at Lena.

“I’ll see you at 8, Lena.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops.
> 
> Let me know wha you guys think!


	15. The Honourable House of El, filled with Gayliens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Kal was stuck in the phantom zone with Kara? What if Kara had to raise him herself? What if everyone in the show is actually unbelievably gay?
> 
> Only one of these things is canon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: any dialogue in italics is in Kryptoniou (my particular romanization for the Kryptonian language).
> 
> The exception is at the very end, when the dialogue has switched to a different language that is made clear in context).
> 
> Warning: LONG RANT ABOUT SDCC BELOW. I won't be offended if you skip over it.
> 
> So... This i the first thing I've published since SDCC, but this has been in the works since long before SDCC. This is intent on being a... soft pilot to an actual fic about this story, if people like it enough. I also wish I could say that I upped the gay as a response to SDCC, but no. It was already this gay before hand.
> 
> No, I'm working on a fic that more appropriately addresses my thoughts on the whole SDCC debacle within fic (and really is just fueled by: everyone is gay and you can't make me believe otherwise). But I'd like to say that this hasn't changed my feelings on SuperCorp. Yes, I was thrown off, and even reading SC while not working hard to imagine Jaime Clayton (who has always been my personal fan cast for Kara Danvers, but especially so since I'm very disappointed and upset with Melissa) as Kara, became a task. Writing SC became... rather difficult. I watched an unbelievable amount of Xena. But I was already in love with these two's dynamic and I can't be easily swayed away from it.
> 
> (Also my big gay crush on Katie can be seen from space. Like... we just don't deserve this human being.)
> 
> That's not to invalidate anyone else who needs to step away from the fandom for whatever reason. I get that; I considered it. But, for me, SuperCorp is no longer just about how good Kara and Lena work together romantically. It's about treating these characters right, treating queerness as not just some bar to pass over, that a woman character potentially loving other women never detracts from the character itself. Shipping SuperCorp has always meant maybe a little too much than it should for me; but now it's personal.
> 
> Also please excuse any hand waving in this fic on how Kara ends up in National City working for Cat Grant anyway. Just... plot convenience?

Kara Zor-El hears the young footsteps long before the door opens, a small smile appearing on her face as she starts to busy herself in the kitchen, preparing a meal for a young Kryptonian and his human friend. She feels as if today is… a peanut butter and jelly day. She feels it deeply within her bones. So, with a careful application of super speed, when the door bangs open she’s waiting with a few sandwiches.

“Ieiu, I’m home!”

 _”Kal, how many people did you bring home?”_ She knows the answer to the question, having heard two familiar pairs of feet from over a mile away, but she loves the normalcy of asking the question, of hearing her native language roll off her tongue, having someone understand her.

“It’s just Carter, Ieiu.”

 _”Just Carter, you say. Never in your thirteen years has there ever been a ‘just’ anything. Especially not ‘just’ Carter.”_ Her voice is light, trying to tease and make young Kal blush. Sure, it’s technically an impossibility under this yellow sun, but he still turns his face downward and stutters, fiddling with the corner of his glasses.

(It had taken her days to find the right material to make them out of; to make both of their glasses out of. She knew going in that Earth would be… would be different. That the solar radiation would cause some changes.

But that knowledge was nothing on the actuality. The loudness of this new planet, the bright colours. How all of her senses bled together nearly immediately. At least Kal didn’t get as instantly affected as her.)

(The day she discovered lead dampens her powers, is a day that she will forever keep close to her heart.

It was the first time she smiled since landing on Earth.)

“Ieiu!” Kara laughs at Kal’s weak sputtering retort, as well as the way he stumbles over Kryptoniou pronunciation, even a simple word like je.ju.

(It hurts, sometimes, to be the last fluent speaker. It hurts, but at least Kal understands when she speaks. At least he knows what she’s saying.)

Kara senses Carter more than she sees him; feels him silently observe the interaction. She _hears_ the slight stutter in his heart as his eyes glance over Kal and… interesting.

“It is good to see you Carter.” And she winces; the accent tainting her attempts to speak English. She may have learned the language in a single day, but she can’t overcome how the words don’t fit naturally on her tongue. That English is about the most distant tongue she ever learned. That she’ll always be marked as a foreigner.

“It’s good to see you too, Ms. Zor-El.” And that’s why she likes Carter. He barely notices when she fiddles with her glasses, having forgotten some idiom or not understood some turn of phrase. He doesn't ever try to correct her, unless her understanding of the phrase is critical to the conversation. There’s no judgement or condescension. Just a sweet kid who probably is a little weird amongst humans, but then again, so is Kara.

“How is your mother, us’kah?” His face brightens; it’s one of the few topics near-guaranteed to bring a smile to his face.

(Kara actually worked for Cat Grant for a few years; as her assistant. Before Kal started developing his powers. Before she needed to start taking care of him full time.) 

(She still does, in a way. Carter is over often enough (especially when Cat is working), and Kara receives weekly checks in the mail, the memo always saying “For taking care of him”. Kara’s fairly certain that, somewhere along the way, she’s become Cat Grant’s unofficial (?) baby sitter. Well, what she gets from Cat is far more than she needs from her, but she’s willing to take it.)

“She’s doing really well. Planning on opening a new branch of CatCo, but hasn’t decided where. I think she wants to do it in Metropolis but doesn’t want have to deal with Lois Lane any more than she has to.” Kara chuckles. “I think she missed having you as her assistant too.”

Kara shakes her head. “You and Kal, you two are already enough for me to handle, there is no need to add Cat Grant to the list.” She waves her hand. “You’re both dismissed; snacks are made and you both know where to find them.”

Her smile is fond as the two run off. She can’t stop herself from yelling behind them “Also remember to keep the door open.” She doesn’t quite understand; she knows it has to do with human mating, but she still can’t grasp it. It’s just so… so alien.

Yet the two rapidly beating hearts tells her that she’s done her job.

* * *

Receiving a call from Cat Grant is just as terrifying whether or not she has to report directly to her. A momentary panic overwhelms her; wonders whether she’s accidentally sent Carter in a coma or something before she remembers that Carter is _in the room next door_ , and nowhere near Cat. She can _hear_ Carter; hear his normal breathing and relatively normal heart rate.

(Though Kara somehow wouldn’t be surprised if Cat knew something’s wrong with Carter before even Kara did; the woman is eerily prescient.)

What she didn’t expect is for Cat Grant to be yelling at her from the moment she picked up the phone. “Kiera! Come to my office; there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Kara stumbles for a moment, her mind not mentally wrapping around the words that Cat actually said; she was too wrapped up in the billions of things that she could have done wrong to demand Cat Grant’s wrath. “Excuse me, Ms. Grant?”

“Was I unclear, Kiera? I’d like you to come to my office to meet someone.”

Kara reaches out for a pen and pad to make notes; she doesn’t need to, but there’s something grounding in the action; in forcing herself “When… When would you like for me to meet this person, Ms. Grant?”

“As soon as possible, Kiera. You’re giving me a headache like after a night of drinking with the President. She can really hold her alcohol.”

“But… Ms. Grant, I can not leave Carter and Kal on their own.” She hears the uptick in Kal’s heart rate, the little murmured ‘why yes you can’ that probably only she can hear. She stifles a chuckle at that. As if she’d let those two stay on their own and _together_.

Cat sighs, and Kara can perfectly see the how her hand rises to her forehead, how her eyes roll as if Kara’s statement viscerally offends and exasperates her. “Kiera, I am Carter’s mother. I can have my son around _my_ media empire for a little while, and am perfectly capable of making sure his boyfriend is taken care of too. Chop Chop!” Kara stays on the phone for a moment, trying to process this sudden request. “Chop chop Kiera! I said chop chop!” And with that Cat hangs up. Taking a moment to breathe (Cat Grant always had the ability to overwhelm her), she pauses before she calls out to the two in the room next door.

“Carter, Kal! That was your mother, Carter. She wants me to meet her at CatCo for… reasons I can not really quite understand, something about meeting someone. But anyway, that apparently means we have to head there now.” Carter beams and Kal stares at Carter’s smile.

Seriously, those two.

* * *

Using public transportation to get to CatCo really annoys Kara; she could have been at the office in less than five minutes if she could fly. But really, Kal isn’t in full control of that particular power yet, and she shouldn’t flaunt her powers too openly.

(She remembers the day that she first did that; the look on those human’s face as she flew, as her body crashed through several walls. As she tore the door off of Kal’s pod, reaching inside desperately to draw him to her. She remembers those faces; the emotion she would inevitably figure out as… _fear_.)

(That’s when she learned that it’s best if humans don’t know.)

So here she is, hands waving at two teenagers to follow, patently ignoring the moon eyes that they shoot at each other, speed walking as quickly as she can (well, within reason), to the elevator, to the top floor, nodding her head at any employee’s who’ve survived since her tenure.

The woman sitting in Cat’s office, honestly, draws Kara’s eyes. It’s difficult not to; she’s centered herself in the room; her dark hair and dark aesthetic popping against the softer colours that make up Cat’s personal taste. Kara believes that Cat would approve of this colour scheme.

(Kara’s certain that Cat would approve, when the woman turns with a smile on her face, the aftereffect of a laugh, and all Kara can see is a pale face, painted red lips, green eyes. Each working to contrast every other piece of her face, each accentuating and supporting beautifully.)

(Yes, this is a colour scheme worthy of memorizing.)

Neither Cat nor the woman have showed any signs of noticing her or the two boys, even as she stands outside her office. Kara is running through her mental _Cat Grant Playbook_ , trying to remember which is the most appropriate action that involves the least yelling; she is about to knock when Carter steps forward and pushes the door open, entering the office. That solves that problem.

Open glancing to see who opened her door, Cat beams; the one she reserves for her sons. “Carter, I’m so glad to see you! And…” she turns to Kara with a rather… quick change in demeanour, “It’s so good for you to join us, Kiera. Now... ” And she stands, walking to the door, over to Carter and Kal and Kara. “Kiera, this is Lena Luthor. I think you two would be very interested in… getting to know each other. She needs an assistant and, well, you’re the only one of my former assistants that I actually tolerate.” Cat’s voice is actually soft, almost… affectionate. “So, I’ll take these two young lovebirds… I don’t know, out for salad or something, and you two can have a little chat here. Is that alright?”

Kara bends down to talk to Kal for a brief moment. _"Kal, stay with Carter, okay?"_

He rolls his eyes, and Kara just chuckles. “Yes, Ieiu.”

 _"Good. I love you, Kal-El."_ She presses a soft kiss to his forehead; taking the opportunity to trill softly; it comforts both of them; using this piece of biology unique to themselves.

“I love you too, Ieiu.” He pulls away and rushes off to stand with Carter and Cat, who take their leave.

Kara sits across from the woman, offering her hand; the woman… _Lena_ smirks while she shakes back.

(Lena’s hands are so… so… intriguing; Kara doesn’t like touching most hands, they’re too weird, especially when Kara can feel every whorl, and old scars and dryness and any other number of imperfections. Lena’s hands, while exactly like anyone else’s hands, are far more pleasant to hold.)

(She only remembers after several moments that she’s been touching the other woman’s hand for far too long; though Lena hasn’t said anything about it. Kara still lets go, only slightly reluctantly.) 

“I am Kara Zor-El. And I am sorry to… tell you that I am not currently looking for employment. I am so sorry that Ms. Grant has wasted your time.”

The woman speaks up; an accent poorly concealed. “Cat never mentioned that you’re multilingual.” (Kara runs her mind through the compendium of accents; she believes it’s Irish, but she needs to hear more to figure it out; honestly wants to hear more.)

Kara ducks her head, her mind working, recounting the cover story that she developed oh so long ago. “Yes well, I am originally from Kazakhstan; Russian descent. So, as well as English, I know both Kazakh, my native tongue and what I just spoke to Kal, and Russian. Not exclusively.”

“Interesting… You know what’s interesting about that?” Kara shakes her head, and Lena’s voice shifts, the tones change.

(It takes a moment for Kara to realize that she’s speaking a different language; all tongues on Earth are simply… foreign to her. Her tongue and mouth usually pick up the change before she does, as she swiftly shifts to whatever language the other is speaking; there are only a handful of languages on Earth Kara doesn’t speak, all of them spoken by so few.)

(She tries to learn them, however. If she can carry on to speak those words, like she carries on to speak Kryptoniou. That, as long as these languages carry on, there’s the last flicker of a dying ember. She knows it’s a bit fruitless; that so much of language is cultural. Yet she has to try; if not her, then whom?)

(It takes her another moment to realize that this woman is speaking Kazakh; the language of her choice.)

**_“See, I speak Kazakh, and that definitely wasn’t Kazakh.”_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please come yell at me either in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders! I promise I don't bite!
> 
> EDIT 29/7: after so many people responded positively to this chapter, it's now it's own full fledged story. The link to the second chapter is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11621433/chapters/26181210
> 
> (The first chapter of the linked fic above is basically the same as this one, with only some small editing and a different commentary.)
> 
> I'd like to note that the concepts of Kryptonians "trilling" I am blatantly stealing (after asking permission in the comments) from Rhino(RhinoMouse)'s fic that I can't remember the exact name of right now but it's great and you should read all their Supergirl fics (and their other fics too I presume).
> 
> Also:  
> ieiu/je.ju are Kryptoniou for mother. (For the purposes of this fic, je.ju is "the correct romanization", and ieiu is one that Kal uses because he's not really a native speaker. But that's only just a point of style; other fics romanize "mother" in a variety of different ways and they're all basically correct.")


	16. The Temptation of Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author makes Eve all of us, and asks: How does Kara know so many attractive people? And why don't those attractive people look over here where I am being desperately gay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is silliness, based on my desire to write Eve Tessmacher since I never have before. This... turned out less to be writing her and understanding her voice and me deciding that writing some gay things is a good idea.
> 
> Also! [Click here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11621433/chapters/26130423) if you want to read the fic based on last chapter; The Gayliens from the Honourable House of El! You guys wanted it sooooooo

The first of the many trial and tribulations that Eve Tessmacher faces when it comes to Kara Danvers, is when her sister, Alex (a fact she learns later, when Kara mentions it casually), walks into CatCo, with a swagger that demands attention and exudes authority. Eve’s eyes couldn’t look away until Alex glances over, a slight confusion in her eyes, and Eve blushes and looks away; only taking quick peeks as Kara and Alex leave the building, arm in arm. She didn’t know it then, but that… that is the beginning of a trend.

(This was the brief time that Eve was working as Cat’s secretary, and not James’. When Kara spent far more time silently, and probably unknowingly, pining after Cat’s guidance and perhaps a little more.)

See, here’s the thing. Almost everyone Kara Danvers knows is _incredibly attractive_ and Eve is such a useless bi. Like a 3 on the Kinsey scale who only rarely prefers one gender to any of the others. 

(At Yale, it… was quite the learning experience to discover that most bi people aren’t like that. So sue her, she did not know anyone else who openly identified as bi when she grew up in Hicksville, Nowhere, and she knew from her few gay friends not to trust media portrayals. But that’s in the past now, and she’s much better equipped to deal with this day to day life.)

But there’s something different about the women in Kara’s life. For the men… the men usually are at CatCo for other reasons; James runs the whole thing while Cat’s gone, and Mike and Winn both worked there at the beginning, before sort of disappearing off the face of the Earth. They so happen to be good friends with Kara, and will take any opportunity to look at her like lost, lovesick puppies (which Eve can’t really blame them for), but they do other things as well.

In short, Eve could get used to their presence; push her attraction to them into a background hum that doesn’t take up much attention. It’s not like she stopped finding James attractive, it’s that she found him attractive while working around him.

The women, on the other hand, burst into Eve’s vision briefly, before disappearing, only to repeat the pattern later. She doesn’t get time to adjust. No, instead beauty walks into her life, makes a beeline for Kara, and leaves.

The second time, and the first time she wonders how Kara knows so many attractive people, is when one Lucy Lane stands next to Kara and serves her gentle smiles as she picks at a lunch (while Kara inhales two of her own, and Eve isn’t sure whether to be jealous or slightly grossed out). This ends in a long hug that has Lucy’s arms a little too low, even for how tiny she is.

(She knows that Lucy worked at CatCo, yet that was before Eve’s time. Even if she didn’t, she could tell by the way that people would go and greet her; too many to be incidental. Yet her stiff nods and formal “hello’s” never come close to the soft gazes she sends Kara’s way.)

The time that seals the deal, as it were, is when Lena Luthor, of all people, strides in on a stormcloud, and, ignoring how the floor gets quiet as almost every eye turns toward her, makes a beeline for Kara (and Mike, but that seems accidental. She addresses Kara first, and only when Mike speaks up does she acknowledge him. Which is a shame, really. Mike’s at his best when he isn’t talking; he’s actually just sorta pretty then. Not the world’s best lay, however). Lip bites and eye fucking ensue.

(Again, another authoritative woman, here to coo over Kara. Yet, unlike Alex and Lucy, whose authority seems almost… militaristic, stating a simple authority in rank, Lena’s authority screams power and nonchalance; that she knows she’s the wealthiest and most intelligent person in the room. Eve is glad that Lena never came to CatCo while Cat was still running it; she would hate to see the showdown between the two.)

(Lena’s also the first of these that she regularly sees around CatCo; it’s clear that Alex only comes regularly, while Lucy sort of… disappeared after that one time. Eve’s slightly disappointed at that second one, if only because Lucy is objectively one of the most beautiful people she’s ever laid eyes on.)

Diana, however, is when Eve believes things become blatantly unfair. Diana is another Kara; a warm presence that you also realize has a layer of steel underneath (both metaphorically, and perhaps literally, if the biceps both put on display are to go by).

She’s a presence that’s almost as rare as Alex, her accent clearly foreign, suggesting she’s not in the country very often. (Eve suspects that she might be Israeli, though sometimes what sounds like a French accent sneaks through. Perhaps a multinational?)

And Diana’s the final straw. Since, okay, of course Kara’s going to know her own sister. Eve can deal with that. And it’s no surprise that Kara, Cat’s former assistant, would know Lucy Lane either, since well, they were coworkers. That makes sense. And it’s not a stretch that, as the most frequent subject of Kara’s articles, she has developed some kind of friendship with Lena Luthor built on mutual attraction. Kara is very sociable and it’s hard not to fall into her sphere, or be attracted to her.

(She supposes it’s easy for people like Will, in accounting, who’s gay, but for people like her, it’s really hard, okay?)

But Diana? Eve once overheard Kara asking Diana how collecting antiques is going. An antique collector? How did Kara even meet her? How did they get close enough that ice cream dates (and seriously? Dates? Do they seriously call it that?) that actually involve whole gallons of ice cream at a time (from that one time they did it just right in front of Eve for reasons that she never quite understood; like Kara has an actual office that Cat gave her, so why was she doing it right there in front of her salad, which suddenly didn’t taste half as good?) are a thing that they do? And why has Eve never been lucky enough to ever meet someone as attractive as that?

The constant, here, is that all these attractive women walk into Kara’s life, eyes firmly fixed on her, and don’t even spare poor Eve (or anyone else, really, but Eve’s allowed to be a little selfish here, she thinks) a second glance.

The final trial and tribulation for Eve Tessmacher, then, is when Kara actually introduces her to one of her attractive… friends, she guesses?

This in the form of one Jessica ( _Jess_ the woman in question is quick to interrupt) Hoang, who apparently is the best Executive Assistant in all of National City, and almost certainly would be very willing to teach Eve some things that Kara can’t.

(At that Jess rolls her eyes, good naturedly, and gives a small tap to Kara’s shoulder, but doesn’t deny it.)

See here’s the thing. Eve is such a useless bi. She literally found herself incapable of even nodding in agreement, or saying anything. She just… stares at Jess, hoping, somehow, that the power of her gaze will somehow alleviate the awkwardness.

(Hint: it doesn’t. It just makes it worse, really. She can see Kara glance between the two of them, trying to figure out why neither is talking, before she suddenly grins, whispers something to Jess, who subsequently blushes, and walks away.)

(Jess quickly, then, agrees to answer any questions that Eve might have, and Eve is all too willing to supply Jess with her number.)

So yeah, the fact that everyone Kara knows being so attractive is probably bad for Eve’s health.

(When, later, she receives a text from Jess asking to meet up for lunch, as a friendly maybe casual date, perhaps Kara’s array of attractive people who revolve around her isn’t such a bad thing after all.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... that happened. It's not great, I know.
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr!](alienbeegenders.tumblr.com) please! I am desperate to talk to people who I don't actually have to physically see, since, well, I dislike being sociable in person!


	17. Lucy Lane Goes on a Kara Danvers Expert Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy Lane goes to the various experts on Kara Danvers to explain why, exactly, she's avoiding Lena and Lucy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the third part of the "Lucy Lane Played Hide and Seek and Kara got sad over it" series which was [Chapter 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10962708/chapters/24404391) and [Chapter 6](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10962708/chapters/24543759) of these one-shots!
> 
> It's rather unedited, for reasons that I'll explain in the end notes. Also I don't know how happy I am with this chapter, but I've been working on this chapter for... an embarrassingly long time now. So here it is.
> 
> So shoutout to everyone who reminded me to finish this up. It wouldn't be up without you guys reminding me.
> 
> ALSO! Over 10,000 hits and almost 400 kudos? You guys are going to overwhelm me with your niceness!

Lucy sighs, again.

(She lost count how many times she’s sighed today somewhere around noon; it’s now almost five.)

Things have been… odd with Kara since Lucy straightened out all of her closest friends. She’s been far more openly affectionate with both Lena and Lucy, and yet somehow seems to avoid spending much time with them. Shit, she’s going so far, sometimes, to make up Supergirl emergencies; as if Lucy, _co-director of the DEO_ , wouldn’t know if one of her most valuable assets would be required. 

(Her sigh around noon is a perfect example. Kara spent a shared lunch openly snuggling with both Lena and Lucy, full of soft touches and smiles, yet she also inhaled her Chinese takeaway before rushing out of there after fifteen minutes, citing a “super important emergency, honestly, really, somewhere… far away, but not like too far away, like not off planet away?” Of course there was no Supergirl emergency.)

And, honestly, Lucy can’t figure it out, and she’s usually very good at reading people. (How else, in one of her least proud moments, would she have figured out that Alex was lying?) So she’s at a loss at what to do. If she can’t figure out what’s going on with Kara, how can she fix it?

She supposes she needs an expert.

***

Alex Danvers is, really, the most useless Kara Danvers expect to ever exist. It’s not that she doesn’t know anything about Kara Danvers; of course she does. There is little to know about Kara that Alex doesn’t. It’s not that she’s not willing to help Kara solve her problems; of course she is. Alex would probably move heaven and earth to make Kara happy. And it’s definitely not that she’s opposed to forcing an issue in order to end whatever weird spiral of avoidance Kara has undertaken. She’s done it before, numerous times.

No, what makes her absolutely useless as an expert is that she shares so many of the same flaws as Kara. Namely, she is an incredibly awful liar when it comes to Kara. As in, stutters her way through entire sentences and paragraphs to deny something which, if it weren’t true, would have taken only a few words to deny.

(It’s the fact that when Alex is _protecting_ Kara, or it’s because she’s following Kara’s wishes or any other number of explanations.)

(It doesn’t stop the fact that she is incredibly bad when it comes to lying about Kara.)

So when Lucy gently brings up the possibility that Kara, perhaps, has an issue with Lucy and/or Lena, considering how she seems to avoid spending time with either of them, Lucy immediately knows she’s on the right path, when Alex simply blushes before stammering out a response.

(Lucy wonders, briefly, if Alex learned this from Kara or Kara learned this from Alex, or perhaps the universe had enough of a sense of humour to take two of the simultaneously best and worst liars and stick them in the same room and make them love each other more than anything else.)

“I, uh, no of course not! Why would you say that? You two are basically Kara’s best friends! She goes on and on about the both of you all the time. Well, not all the time, all the time, but like the normal amount that one would talk about their best friends to their other best friend who mutually considers the others their good friends. You know?”

And Lucy _knows_. There is definitely something up with Kara Danvers. “Of course, Agent Danvers, of course.”

Alex’s eyes narrow. “You only call me that when you’re about to do something that you don’t think I’ll like.”

Lucy can only smirk in return.

***

Winn, the second Kara Danvers Expert that Lucy thought of interrogating, isn’t so much help either. It’s always a toss-up, going to Winn. If he knows, Lucy knows how to make him tell in under a minute. But there’s almost as good a chance that he knows nothing on the subject. And of course, whenever he sees Lucy, he seems to shell up, intimated; it’s hard to tell if he’s hiding something specific from her or he’s just using the DEO computers to play games… again.

So Lucy decides to address this with some… tact.

“Winn, I swear if you’re playing Playerunknowns’ Battlegrounds on our servers, _again_ , I will take you back to the training room and have another… oh let’s say hour with you?” Okay, so maybe not a lot of tact, but at least she didn’t call him Agent Schott. That qualifies as ‘some’, right?

His eyes shift around, widening in obvious panic. “W-what are you talking about? I would never do such a thing as… well, that. Never. Of course not. Well, except for those times you caught me, but well, those are nonrepresentative samples of who I am.”

Lucy smirks (a thing she’s doing a lot recently; it probably has to do how it fits her totally subtle plans). “Well, if you’re not running around playing games on DEO computers, and I know for a fact that Guardian isn’t out doing anything, and as one of your bosses I know, for a fact, that you don’t have any projects running, what are you up to Winn? Something with… Kara?”

Winn’s eyes remain panicked and alert, but he didn’t give any of his tells away. He didn’t instantly jump to defending Kara, or denial. His fear didn’t increase. Just.... the same general fear of Lucy Lane (which, if Lucy’s being honest, everyone should have) and her ability to kick anyone’s ass. In other words, _he doesn’t know_.

“I promise, I’m up to nothing!”

Lucy touches his shoulder gently. “Okay Winn, I believe you.”

“Y-you do?” Relief emanates from his shoulders, and he slumps slightly, no longer feeling the need to hold himself up.

“Yeah, I do. Except for the fact...” She lowers her voice to a whisper and leans in toward Winn. “Your computer there clearly has _League of Legends_ running.” Lucy smir--grins. Lucy grins, as she walks away from a spluttering Winn.

Putting the fear of Lucy in him is plenty of fun.

***

The next stop on the Kara Danvers Expert Tour happens to be Lucy’s former boss; the inimitable Cat Grant. Cat Grant is, by far, more useful than Alex or Winn as an expert on the habits and happenings of Kara; not because she knows more than either of them, but rather she has no compunctions about interfering.

The risk is, of course, that there are only a handful of subjects that Cat isn’t willing to play games with; and Lucy Lane asking about her former assistant isn’t covered in any of those subjects.

(In fact, the games might be even worse this time around; anyone inquiring about Kara Danvers may just face the full wrath of Cat Grant, because she is most vicious when she’s trying to protect someone.)

So she steels herself before entering Cat’s office. And when she does, Cat doesn’t even look up from whatever notes she’s jotting down before speaking.

“Ah, if it isn’t my former… head of legal studies or whatever I called that department.”

Lucy sighs (internally of course); of course Cat is starting off with the big guns. “Ms. Grant, I was your general counsel, as you well know.”

Cat purses her lips, faking trying to remember. “Mmm, was that it? And, no, you can’t have your job back. Was that all?”

Lucy resists the urge, heroically in her opinion, to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Ms. Grant…”

Cat sighs (out loud this time) and places her pen down, staring Lucy directly in the eyes. “Okay, fine, Major Lane. Just take out time of my busy day, which is busy to a degree that only a handful of people in the entire world understand, and let’s… chat, as it were.”

Seeing as that’s the best window that Lucy can expect, she tries to pounce on it. “Ms. Grant--” But she’s cut off again.

“Yes, yes. You’re here about Kiera. After all, Kiera can’t be in here for less than five minutes before talking about how happy her two best friends are together and how happy she is for them ‘really’, and then she goes on and on about it, and I stop paying attention, since I’ve heard it all before and, well, I think that perhaps you need to talk to Kara.”

Lucy blinks. Honest to goodness stands there and blinks. “Excuse me?”

“I’m fairly certain you heard me the first time. And I thought you were better than your sister.”

Lucy… can’t say anything to that. And _shit_ , she thinks she understands now, why Kara always talks about Ms. Grant like she’s a few seconds away from ravishing her. “Umm… Thank you for the advice Ms. Grant. I’ll be on my way.”

“I’m sure you will.”

***

And, of course, the final expert that Lucy involves is more of a joint effort; Lena Luthor and Lucy Lane.

(Which was less of a consulting effort and more of a…, going over what Lucy has learned, especially from Cat, and coming up with a plan to ensare Kara and force her to talk about it.)

(The plan is simple. Like absurdly simple. 1) Buy a bunch of potstickers for Kara. 2) As soon as she puts one into her mouth, withhold the rest until she talks about it.)

Part 1) of the plan goes fine, and the intermediate step of getting Kara to come to lunch, in Lena’s soundproofed office, to enact the plan goes swimmingly. But Lucy… well Lucy’s been working on this for a while, so instead of going along with step 2) of their absurdly simple plan, her impatience gets the better of her.

So instead of withholding potstickers, she decides to go directly for the jugular. “Kara, do you think Lena and I are dating?”

Kara’s eyes bulge, as she hastily swallows. “What? I mean, you could be! I mean you’re both totally gorgeous and amazing and you get along so well and you spend so much time together and you’re both so confident and it’s really easy to… feel things about both of you and--” she hastily cuts herself off by sticking five more potstickers in her mouth.

Lena, in the end, gets to deliver the good news.

(It’s not that Lucy finds that unfair that Lena gets to deliver the news, it’s just that she, Lucy, has been the one working hard on this. Lena’s just been sitting back, claiming that she’s “too busy being a CEO and trying to save her family’s company and legacy and not be murdered by any of the innumerous people who want to do so". Which... why does Lena get to have all the fun?)

“Kara… Lucy and I are just best friends. We’re not dating.”

Kara… The best description of what happens to Kara next is that she reboots. “Y-you’re not? But when I’m with both of you guys you guys look at each other and smile and your heart rates suddenly increase when you see that I’m looking at you guys looking at each other and, oh Rao, I’m making a right mess of it, aren’t I? I always read too much into my crushes, especially when I have more than one at the same time and well oh--”

“Oh for God’s sake…” And Lucy finds herself suddenly on Kara’s lap, potstickers displaced to… somewhere else, lips smashing against hers. Again, impulsive.

(She worries, instantly. Knows that springing a kiss on someone isn’t the smartest move, and doesn’t want to be creepy about it, but dammit she’s 99% certain that somewhere in Kara’s rambling she basically admitted that she had a crush on either herself and/or Lena and she can’t wait. Not any longer.)

(Her worry can’t last long, though. Not when Kara’s lips taste subtly of soy sauce, when Kara’s hands come to her waist, just above her back. Not when her own hands are pulling down on Kara’s collar and Kara, that powerful woman, is following her lead. Not when all of her senses are just filled up with Kara.)

A gentle clearing of the throat causes Lucy to reluctantly pull away from Kara. Kara looks embarrassed, while Lucy knows that she’s smir--grinning. “While I would like to give the two of you some privacy, this is my office and I imagine that you guys need privacy lasting longer than the… twenty minutes I have left for lunch, and I sadly can’t have the meeting I’m scheduled for after anywhere but here.” Lucy expects irritation, indignation, or… something from Lena, since, well, Lucy, Lena’s best friend, just did make out with her crush, who happens to be Lena’s other best friend. Instead, she just catches a twinkle in Lena’s eye.

(Somehow that makes Lucy feel even guiltier.)

“Leeena.” Kara’s throat is caught in a whine, one slightly higher and breathier than Lucy expects. And damn, if she isn’t imagining Kara using that exact voice to say her own name.

“Kaaaara. So would you like to finish lunch or… skip to dessert?” Lucy chuckles softly at the way Kara’s eyes flutter around, clearly lost in some form of embarrassment.

(Lucy, reluctantly, shuffles off of Kara’s lap, instantly missing the warmth. _Damn_ that woman makes a great heater.)

But Kara… Kara doesn’t respond with words. Instead she stands up, walks over to Lena and… kisses her. On the lips.

(If Lucy wasn’t panicking, she might think it objectively hot. However, now here she is, watching the person she just kissed go up and kiss someone else and… that’s not a blow to her ego that she particularly wanted on this day.)

The kiss lasts much shorter than the one between Lucy and Kara felt, before Kara pulls away slightly.

(Lena has something of a dazed expression on her face; and again, if Lucy wasn’t feeling so crushed at that moment, she’d give Lena the universal sign of “I know right?”)

But Kara’s talking. “I’m sorry, I just… I really like both you and Lucy a lot and I didn’t want you to think that I don’t, and since I guess this entire thing is about emotional honesty, I like both of you way too much? Like, on Krypton, didn’t care much for having multiple partners and it’s really hard to remember it’s a bigger deal here on Earth and it’s okay if you don’t want that but it’s what… I want.”

And all it takes is to see Lena’s smirk (because Lena is definitely smirking, dammit), for them both to nod. “I think we can work something out.”

***

Later that night, as the three of them sit on Kara’s couch, everyone snuggling up rather closely together into a single pil, watching some movie which Lucy didn’t bother to learn the name of, Lucy decides to speak up, a gri--smirk. A smirk on her lips. “You know, I was the one who was playing hide and seek with my body. But you, Kara, you were the one who was playing it with our hearts.” Being pelted with popcorn by Lena was totally worth Kara’s bashful smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just to let you guys know, I live in Miami Florida. For those of you who don't know, there's a giant storm coming my way that should be here tomorrow; now I am as safe as I can reasonably hope, so don't worry on that front. But also it might mean that I lose internet and won't be around to update or chat with you guys for a long while. I might get lucky and keep internet the whole time but I doubt it.
> 
> Anyway, come yell at me on [Tumblr!](alienbeegenders.tumblr.com) Or go yell at some of my tumblr friends about how much you love their fics, since they'll be in a much better position to respond! (Also read their fics! They're great!)
> 
> Tumblr friends such as: [@littlekbrother](littlekbrother.tumblr.com) ([@littlebrother](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebrother) on AO3) or [@postfuguestate](postfuguestate.tumblr.com) ([@ItsaVikingThing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsaVikingThing) on AO3)
> 
> They're great!
> 
> Love y'all!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Kudos, comments and bookmarks always make my day, especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> Please come yell at me about anything (such as how Katie McGrath's ear piercings are a work of art) either down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> And if you have a thought for a one shot you'd like me to write, feel free to add it down here or throw it at me on Tumblr. And I can always be convinced to write a part 2!
> 
> Love y'all!


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